Elf in Town

Languages

2012-02-10T22:36:00.000-05:00

One of my assignments in my bilingual education class is to interview a bilingual adult and write about his/her perspectives on being bilingual. I, being a last minute person, decided to throw the question at my dear friend Macy on MSN, seeing as she speaks a trillion languages. Despite being done with the two page paper, I am feeling rather disappointed in myself. I always tell people I speak four languages, English, Mandarin, Taiwanese and French. But really I am far from being bilingual. English is my number one language, I can speak, read, listen and write in English, I think in English. Mandarin is my number two, although I am relatively fluent oftentimes I forget words, especially when I haven't been using it in a while. I can read OK, meaning in an newspaper article I won't know every single character, but with the help of surrounding characters, I can generally understand, even if it takes a lot of energy. In terms of writing, I am horrible at it! I usually tell people I can't write just to save the embarrassment! I can type in Chinese though, typing is good! Language number three is Taiwanese, I often feel like my Taiwanese is better than my Mandarin, but I never say it because a lot of people think that Taiwanese is only a dialect, and it is, but I think it's a language. The reason why I feel my Taiwanese is better than my Mandarin is because of the context that Taiwanese is used. More often than not I speak to my parents in Taiwanese and my grandmas and the whole extended family. I don't think I have ever been in a situation where I was required to speak or understand some complex Taiwanese. And for that reason I've never experienced being inadequate in Taiwanese. Sure, it takes a day or two to get in the zone of speaking Taiwanese 24/7 but I've been there and done that. Lastly there is French, I always feel a bit uncomfortable when I say I speak French, because to me, I don't speak French. I speak French when I've had a decent amount of alcohol in me, but during sober times I speak mediocre French at best. I'm embarrassed to say that I've been "learning" French since I was 12. Yup, that's 12 years of "learning" French. I put learning in speech marks because really only 11 months of it was actual learning, the time that I actually spent in France. The rest of the time were lessons here and there, and the occasion love emails I would write and receive from my many French flings.

So there they are, my four languages. Yes you may think it's cool, but it's depressing to me, to be compared with Macy who speaks Danish, English, Cantonese and Mandarin like a native and then she also knows French, Italian and German like a pretty damn near native! As my list of options for the future multiplies like E. coli, I find myself adding "spend a year in a French speaking country solely for the purpose of becoming fluent in French" to the list. I am sick of being a fake bilingual!

Education Addict

2012-02-03T18:06:00.002-05:00

If you know me well, you'd know I was, am, will always be the this-year-I'll-do-better girl. At the beginning of each term, semester, school year, my goal is to always work harder, study harder, actually do my homework... But I never stick to it, usually by the second week I am done. As a student I live for the holidays. Obviously I did well in school, but I know I've never reached my full potential. But it's OK, I've come to terms with it, and it has never been my goal for straight A's or first in class, it's more of a happy surprise when it happens, and isn't often.

I always laugh at those who aimed for number ones and straight A's or in NZ straight E's, and it's not just because I was the fox with the sour grapes, but school wasn't the most important thing to me. Now that I am nearing the end of another degree without a solid job offer, I find myself looking into further education by the scary name of PhD. I am sure I have told the world that I wasn't considering a PhD until I was at least 30, but the thought of being called Dr. Elf is very, very tempting.

As I explore different programs I come back to square one in deciding where to? Since the second semester of my first year at university, where after flunking biological sciences, I randomly picked psychology and linguistics based on the only thing that mattered, the timing, the fact that I didn't have class before 12PM and I could leave by 5PM. I often tell myself that those two courses were made for me. It's sad to the point it's funny, that a single decision made based on laziness would happily follow me for the rest of my educational life.

At this point, I feel like I am playing education like the game Trouble. I've moved my psychology piece and now it's time for the linguistic piece to head home. The program I am currently looking at is in Luxembourg. Crazy? I know! Because not only am I addicted to studying, I am also addicted to moving "overseas" as often as possible! What I fear most about this program that I've fallen in love with at first sight is that it's a PhD, they are the great-granddaddies of education. I can't go in there with a this-year-I'll-do-better attitude. I need to be doing better NOW!

Tout ce qu'on ne peut pas dire

2012-01-24T01:24:00.000-05:00

When all that we could not say have been said, there's nothing left to do but to let go.

Cœur de Pirate

2012-01-19T22:51:00.001-05:00

Six days ago I received an email about the singer Cœur de Pirate playing in NYC with this Youtube clip attached.

She sounded amazing and seeing that it has been a while since I went to a concert I went ahead and bought the tickets to see her show. Throughout the week the words "pirate" and "golden baby" floated around my mind. And yesterday I received the news that a dear friend of mine is now the father to a Golden Baby boy with the initials A.R.R., like the pirate! I can't help but have this song on repeat as I feel like I knew this baby was arriving even before I knew.

Bogotá

2012-01-11T22:46:00.000-05:00

I am not sure if it was the altitude, my busy New York lifestyle, or the fact that I'm halfway towards my mid-twenties and my body is just tired, but I didn't really have the motivation to go out and explore. Remember that February break in France where my friends and I hit four cities, three countries in two weeks? Yeah... I can't do that anymore, I was fully content at staying at home, visiting relatives, stuffing my face and watching T.V., I needed a break! However that's not to say we did nothing in Colombia, in fact we did a whole lot of fun stuff!

On our first day out in Bogotá, after stopping in one of the biggest libraries in the city we went to the Coin Museum, not to be mistaken for the more famous Gold Museum. I admit, I don't have a strong interest in seeing how coins are made, but the awesome part was not only did we not have to pay to get in, we were freaking paid to get in! Oh yes! As we left, the very friendly security guy gave us all a souvenir coin! We walked towards the Bolívar Square and snapped some pictures before heading to lunch downtown. After lunch Lili and I hiked up to Monserrate, or at least to where the cable cars start and took it all the way up. The view at the top was stunning. The city itself was just buildings on top of buildings but surrounded by these immense green mountains. I feel all outdoorsy and nature-loving as I type this trying to express this feeling of content and satisfaction that those mountains made me feel, and we all know I am far from being the outdoorsy, nature-loving type of girl!

After buying some coke tea, totally legal, we came down and walked some more in Candelaria, which is an artsy area. We grabbed some juice at a small cafe that's actually a part of a tram and is located in a parking lot, before we headed home on the bus.

I feel the need to dedicate a paragraph about buses in Colombia, because I sure took a lot of them! All vehicles are kind of crazy here in Colombia, even the roads are kind of crazy with all its potholes. There are the nice city buses that stop at these very cool stops in the middle of the street, and you have to walk across pedestrian bridges to get to them, or you could, as I've seen some crazy kids do, run across the four lane road (which I am still not sure if they are highways) and then try to pry the glass doors open so you can get into the station for free. There are also these shuttle buses that have specific routes and stops, but you can kind of wave them down whenever you see them. They might just stop in the middle of the road, so then you have to run across a lane or two dodging traffic before you get onboard. But they are cheaper and gets you to more places, the doors don't usually close and there are usually more people crammed in there than what's considered safe! Then there are the inter-city buses and they were pretty good, it all depends on where you are sitting! The taxi drivers all seem to have a death wish, but I just tell myself that's what they do every single day and they are still alive!

The Flight With An Insane Amount Of Good Looking Guys

2011-12-29T11:51:00.000-05:00

On the morning of Christmas Eve I made my way to Newark airport to fly with Bogota with a stop over in Atlanta. From Atlanta my carry on bag was able to ride first class due to the lack of space in overhead compartments. What's amazing about the flight from Atlanta to Bogota was the insane amount of good looking guys on the flight. I kid you not! I counted at least seven who boarded the plane after I did, who knew how many more were already on board!

I was quite nervous flying into Bogota, I think it was a mix of not knowing any Spanish and all the warnings I received from friends and families. But really it's just like another city. Lili had arrived two hours ahead of me and was already at home enjoying the festivities, thus I took a taxi and headed to over to her house. As my checked bag was the last one to come onto the carousel, I didn't leave the airport until more than an hour after my flight arrived, it was late and I couldn't make out much of what the scenery was like.

Arriving at Lili's I was greeted by her, her very welcoming mom and brother in law. Once we got into the house I was introduced to the rest of her family, whilst there wasn't as many as Thanksgiving at Aasha's, it was equally overwhelming due to the fact that everyone spoke Spanish. We ate ham, turkey and some other round shaped meat. They take turns reading from a Catholic pamphlet that I assume told the story of the birth of Jesus, between readings they would break into song, and I tapped along with the tambourine that they gave me! After exchanging gifts and more alcohol we said goodbye to the relatives and went to bed!

Christmas in Colombia... Check!

22nd Country

2011-12-27T10:42:00.001-05:00

Hello! This is just a quick update to say that I am in my 22nd country, Colombia, spending Christmas and New Year's with a dear friend and her family. Is it possible to stop falling in love with places? I already feel like I am cheating on Lisbon and New York! Hope you have all had a great Christmas, I will see you all in 2012 with plenty of pictures to share!

I Work Here...

2011-12-15T14:45:00.001-05:00

Suppose to be running group right now, but my girls conveniently disappear on me. So I'm hiding out in the computer room working on my next school counseling project. Our very lovely (I wish there was a font for sarcasm) secretary just came in and asked me who I was... Yes I know she works in the office without any lights on, and she barely makes eye contact, but come on! I've been here for over three months!

I have been neglecting Elf in Town these days as I am working on The Hopeful Elf with Aasha, but I'd like to leave you guys with a funny conversation with Little Boy this morning. I promise I will be writing more soon!

Elfie: Little Boy who celebrates Hanukkah?
Little Boy: The Japnese
...
*Little Boy sings a song about lighting the menorah*
Elfie: Little Boy, what do you light during Hanukkah?
Little Boy: Uh... The chicken?
Elfie: Have you been paying attention in class? Do I need to write a note to your teacher and tell her to send you back to baby school?

Bumbies

2011-12-01T21:21:00.001-05:00

I know I never got around to posting the rest of my Thanksgiving festivities. What happened was I ate far too much, and my fingers got too fat to type. But rest assured it was festive! I had a fantastic time in South Carolina with Aasha, meeting her wonderful family and friends. It was really difficult to get on the 14 hour bus back to New York.

Since being back I have been extremely busy, assignments are due, presentation to be presented, students to counsel and boys to look after. Oh The Boys! I actually have a question I'm shooting out to my readers, regarding little boys, and perhaps this applies to little girls too. But how do you deal with their curiosity to the human body? Little Boy patted my chest area today and said "bumby" and then he asked "do little boys have bumbies?". I, trying to keep calm responded, "yes... But they are flat... Now let's go watch T.V.!" Thank goodness for television! Obviously I know that I shouldn't make a big deal out of it, because it's not a big deal. But I am conflicted on how I want to approach this issue and other similar issues. It's difficult especially for me because he's not my kid. I certainly don't want to raise children who cannot openly discuss issues of sex or other taboo subjects. But I also don't want them to be asking their pre-school teacher what those bumps are. I guess my question is how do you teach children appropriateness? And now I want to answer my own question, which is you don't teach children appropriateness, you model it for them to learn (aha! Sometimes my intelligence surprises me!). I am so not ready to have offsprings!

On another note, Aasha and I are in the progress of starting a wickedly awesome blog! More details to come!!!!!

The Thanksgiving Elf

2011-11-23T13:15:00.001-05:00

Ever since my first Thanksgiving in Angers two years ago, I've really grown to love this holiday that I really know nothing about. Something about the Indians, the pilgrims and food, oh the blessed food! This year I've been really lucky in that I got to go home with my dear friend Aasha and spend Thanksgiving with her and her family here in North Carolina.

I have been so excited about this trip ever since I invited myself weeks ago. It has been only three months since I have been on a plane but it feels like it's been forever. One Tuesday I got up early and threatened The Boys with The Little Black Baby to get up and ready for school so I can have time to shower and pack before meeting Aasha at the JFK. I've become such a last minute packer I wonder if it's due to my anti-anxiety medication, or the fact that I've packed and unpacked so much these past two years that I no longer need to make lists of what I need to bring three weeks in advance.

Walking to the subway station, a stranger walked past me and said "you smell real good my dear, real good" and that was how I know this trip is going to be marvelous! Meeting Aasha at the airport was a bit of an adventure, who knew Terminal 3 at JFK was so complicated! Despite the numerous times I've been on a plane, this was the first time I've had an alcoholic drink prior to boarding! And so we toasted to that, en français even! Going on the topic of firsts, this was also the first time I flew on a little airplane and the first time I was the first person to walk off the plane. No, I wasn't in first class, the plane was simply too small to even have sections. It was also the first time I walked in on a man peeing on the airplane, the lock on the airplane toilet can be difficult to figure out. Anyway after our two hour and something flight on the tiny plane sitting next to a Wells Fargo guy who had an incredible snore, we made it to Charlotte, North Carolina! I feel like I should start a list of all the states I have been to. We had another drink with our tasty nachos before Aasha's mom drove all the way out to pick us up.

The first thing we did after meeting the family was to hit Zaxby's for some delicious fried chicken! Then it was over to Walmart where we pressed all the buttons that we could press down the toy aisle before heading over to see the fish. There are fish at Walmart?! How crazy is that?!

I've discovered that every time I leave New York City, my most used phrase becomes "OMG this is so American!" And it is, Aasha drove me through her high school which is massive! The landscape that we pass by, the houses, the whole suburbia feel, totally American! Tomorrow's Thanksgiving and I am ready to eat, eat and EAT!

And What I Really Wanted To Write About...

2011-11-20T21:25:00.001-05:00

Two entries in one night woohoo! Actually my post on TCKs was suppose to be an intro into what I really wanted to talk about, but the more I wrote the more difficult it was to change the subject so a separate blog entry was needed!

Why I incorporated the TCK part was because growing up I've rejected my Taiwanese/Chinese/Asian background, it wasn't really until these past couple of years had I truly appreciated being Taiwanese. My mom is a very wise woman, she may have only graduated high school but she is intelligent, resourceful, and just knows a lot of stuff! She's a firm believer in Chinese medicine, the smelly herbal stuff, whereas I loved my Western drugs. Growing up my mom told me a lot of important facts that every Chinese woman must know. Things like women shouldn't wash their hair when they have their period, or drink cold drinks, or having that one month postpartum where you basically can't do anything, click here for a general idea of what Chinese women go through. Obviously you can see how frustrating it is for me as a teenager, "what do you mean I can't wash my hair, I don't want to go to school with greasy hair", or "but all my friends washed their hair when they have their period and they never died" ha! To which she would respond, "Chinese bodies are different" yeah...

Truth is I'm still not buying most of this mumble jumble, but I find myself being more curious about Eastern medicine. I've thought about trying acupuncture, but the Final Destination 5 trailer kind of scared me, but cupping might be a possibility. Today though, I tried gua sha or the DIY version of it, where I used a little plastic cardholder and just scraped along my neck and shoulders. I may have given myself some hickey-looking marks but I have to say it did release a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders, plus I had the best three hour nap afterwards and woke up feeling fantastic. So yeah, I just wanted to share my experience of getting in touch with my Asian side!

Also, I'm going to South Carolina on Tuesday!!!!!

Third Culture Kid

2011-11-20T20:31:00.001-05:00

On Wednesday I left class early to head to a film screening. It was a documentary called Neither Here Nor There, the film interviews a few TCKs and shows their perspective on identity. The idea of TCK is very dear to me. To those who are not familiar with the term TCK, basically they are kids whose parents are either diplomats, missionaries, in the military, business related or have any other occupation that requires them to live in another country for an extended amount of time. They are kids who went to international schools, with passports filled with stamps. And although I don't consider myself a "real" TCK, being that my family immigrated to NZ and I never went to an international school, I feel my experiences when it comes to identity or having a sense of belongingness could be rather similar to those of TCKs.

Growing up as an immigrant kid, there were, without a doubt times where I've had issues with cultural identity. My mom is not really proficient in English and my dad wasn't really involved in my education. The plus side of that was I became really independent and I also got away with a lot of stuff! The down side however was I had no support growing up with two cultures. It wasn't like I attended an international school and everyone else was like somewhat like me, sure there were other immigrant children at my school but most of them were from NZ, had parents, or grandparents from NZ. And before you guys think this is an entry about my miserable childhood where no one understood, it's not. I don't think I really thought about the lack of support I had growing up until I was older. Kids are very resilient. I think once I discovered that I didn't fit in to the Taiwanese or Kiwi model, I gave up. I decided to live Ireland for a year, came back with an Irish accent and made plans to return to Europe. I think I made the decision to become a Third Culture Kid.

As my program here at NYU is coming to an end it's been really difficult for me. I never came to New York with the intention of staying. My goal was to get my degree move to Europe and work at an international, preferably in Lisbon. But I fell in love with New York. And I think to myself, you know life is really hard when you are constantly packing up and moving to a new city. I want my own place so I can spend a ton of money at Ikea, I want to have my keyboard, my CD player so I can fall asleep listening to music, and I want all my CDs here with me. It's scary for me to want a home. I know it's absolutely ridiculous for me to be so upset about making a decision to stay or to leave when it's really simple. If I like New York, I should just stay here, when I am ready to leave, I'll leave. Staying in New York doesn't mean the International School of Lisbon is crossed off the list, it just means it's on hold. Today I made the decision that I am not going to start applying for jobs as a school counselor in international schools in Shanghai or Korea when I had no intention of moving there in the first place. New York is where I want to be, for now, and New York is where I'll stay, for now. So come on Green Card Lottery, PICK ME!!!!!

Shoes

2011-11-17T21:56:00.001-05:00

I often scoff at those ladies who have a gazillion pairs of shoes and a gazillion matching handbags. Because really we only have two feet and they are shoes! I grew up wearing my sneakers everyday until they had holes in them. Of course I had a pair of nice black shoes for proper occasions, but I practically lived in my sneakers. Things changed a bit once high school started, I wore my nice brown shoes everyday and my sneakers twice a week for those mandatory P.E. classes in the first two years. Things changed drastically when I went to Toulouse and met Rémy, he made fun of me for wearing sneakers. I believe his exact words were "you shouldn't wear sneakers unless you are actually doing sports" (Elfie? Sports? HA!). I laughed at him at first, thinking it was ridiculous, but being surrounded by les français I became totally self-conscious and rather embarrassed at my running shoes. So over the past three years I've been slowly building up my shoe collection, I left my "real" running shoes in NZ, and adopted my purple Keds for the times when I am expected to do something resembling "sports", which thankfully isn't often! My spring/summer footwear consists of sandals and flats and my autumn/fall collection is all about the boots. Now with internship and the eventual graduation/finding a real job idea looming ahead, I feel I need a whole new shoe category, or eight. When I'm on the métro and I see the Americans in their sneakers I think about my pair of Nike gathering dust and spider webs, and I wonder if I will ever be able to go back to wearing sneakers again.

Non-Missing Piece

2011-11-11T11:00:00.001-05:00

Last night I finally caught up with a dear friend of mine. We went out for dinner and drinks and I laughed my head off! I am and have been feeling somewhat depressed for a while now. The same old issue of wanting to stay but feeling the need to move. Also my internship isn't going so well, or rather it isn't how I expected it to be. I want to do more for my kids, I want to be a millionaire so I can adopt them all and make sure they are happy and successful in life... It's just really hard to dream up of fantastic ideas but not have the ability to implement them. On top of that, the stress of finding a job and standing on my own two feet is really making me doubt whether I've gone into the right profession. Especially considering how I made the decision to apply to NYU. It's scary not knowing where I'll be in six months time. And I make it worse by trying to make a thousand backup plans should my non-existing plan fail. I think I've been trying too hard to create commitments to people, to things, thinking that that's what's missing in my life. Commitments to make me feel grounded, but the truth is I am already grounded. I have friends here, I have jobs here, I have a life here. I think I need to stop trying to create a life and instead live the life that I have already created. There's nothing missing in my life except for me. Anyway before I completely lose my mind, I'd just like to say I'm back!

Once

2011-10-23T21:50:00.001-04:00

Seven years ago I lived in Ireland for a year. Tonight for some crazy reason I am missing Dublin. I don't know if it's the caffeine or the nicotine, or whatever crazy blood that's running through me, but tonight I wish I was in Dublin.

Being Human

2011-10-22T00:17:00.001-04:00

Years ago I wrote a blog entry titled "Being Human" it was one of those sappy-teenage-angst blog entries about love, broken hearts and making mistakes, that only a 16 year old would write. Today I find myself wanting to write another blog entry with the same title, but the content differs greatly, or at least I hope it does.

When I am counseling someone I am very careful of what I say, how I act. I am very aware at how I am perceived by the client, and it's tiring. Before I say or do anything, I need to think of how the client will take in and process my words or actions. I say things to the client because it's beneficial to him or her, not because it's beneficial to me.

This week a friend came to me, he may have wanted to talk, wanted some comfort, or wanted something else from me. Deep down I felt he was coming to me as a client, but this past week I had all my emotions placed in a blender with the dial set on high, and I know it's no excuse, but I made a mistake. I went against my better judgement and said and done things to elicit outcomes that would benefit me, not him.

It hurts a little that you ended things so abruptly, but it made me see how stupid I had been. I feel really awful that I used you to get what I wanted. I made a mistake, I am sorry, and I wish you well.

The Right To Be Angry

2011-10-20T00:16:00.000-04:00

Growing up I tend to not express my anger towards people. Instead I book a flight somewhere, I pack my bags and I move to a new city. I calm down and I start all over again. But I'm tired of starting all over again. I love New York, I love my friends here, I want my own apartment, I want to go to IKEA and buy stuff to decorate my permanent home. I have the right to be angry, and you need to know that I am mad at you, because I am not f*cking moving to a new city anytime soon.

Pop Goes The (Suicidal) Rat

2011-10-12T22:37:00.001-04:00

It's scary how many of my blog posts are about rodents, since I've been in New York. I took a sick day today. The first time I took an actual sick day to go to the doctors, only to find out I am perfectly fine.

Doctor: What can I do for you today?
Elfie: I have a sore throat, I think I might have strep throat. I see white spots at the back of my mouth.
Doctor: Let's take a look. Say "Ah".
Elfie: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Doctor: Looks fine to me.
Elfie: Oh... Can you check my ears too? I feel the onset of an ear infection.
Doctor: Sure... No... Your ears look fine too.
Elfie: Oh...
Doctor: Anything else I can do for you?
Elfie: Well... I guess not.
Doctor: Well... If the pain continues or increases come back again.
Elfie: *Yeah and spend another $20.00 for you to shine that light in my mouth and feel thyroid glands... In your dreams doctor!* Will do... Bye.

And that was that.

At the West 4th station on the way home, a rat caught my attention. There is pipe pumping water out onto the tracks and I was surprised to see the rat walk right into it, as I had always thought rats hated water, but this one soaked its little toes and played the water. Then came the mighty M train. Usually when trains approach rats move into the gaps to avoid being squished. But not this rat, it did move, but the movement was slow and it went right onto the tracks (the sticky-uppy part). I assumed it had moved to a safe place. That was until I heard the POP! My entire insides contracted, I felt icky. I don't really know if rat exploded under the pressure, but I keep getting images of the rat, like a balloon, being squeezed from one end to the other, until it could contain it no more. Eurgh. It was nasty!

Back To France...

2011-10-10T21:59:00.001-04:00

I wish! Today I got together with our group to work on a paper for a class that no one really likes. Thankfully our group is composed of lovely people and we all get along swimmingly as we talk rubbish and laugh about others (we are really lovely, really)! After agenda had been created, we were right on schedule for lunch so headed downstairs and turned right, as the Brooklyn Commune is closed on Mondays (WHY?????), thankfully there was a promising looking French café nearby. We placed our orders whilst Meredith spoke to neighborhood police about the bad, bad people lurking around her neighborhood.

Back in the café I felt like I was in France again, to be clear, the café looked like a café on some cobble stoned street but the service was more like what you get at the Brioche Dorée, the one on Champs-Élysées to be precise, except for the speed, which was probably the best thing about the service at Brioche Dorée. Salivating at that chocolate eclair for 45 minutes whilst waiting for my salad, made me, well angry, but also nostalgic for the period of my life where I grew accustomed to things randomly not working, or places randomly closing, or CAF randomly deciding that today was the day they were going to give me 2000 Euros. Those days when things didn't work out I would simply say "bah c'est n'importe quoi" shrug my shoulders and go for a martini blanc then try again the following day. But today I realized that when I didn't get my salad in the 15 minutes that he promised me, shrugging my shoulders no longer worked. Oh New York what have you done to me?

Today I miss France so much. I want to go back right now. I can't help but wonder whether my decision to apply for a green card has somehow triggered a thought within me that I belong in New York. Mind you, it's not a bad thing, I definitely love being associated with New York, but there are many places I need to be associated, re-associated. I guess what it comes down to is that I have an irrational fear of committing to a country.

Luck

2011-10-07T20:58:00.000-04:00

Lately my blog posts have been quite dark and gloomy when really my life is quite pleasant. Truth is it's just hard to blog about day to day life at the moment. Between school, work, nannying and internship I am running around like a headless chicken. And when I do have time to blog, my mind is usually reflecting on something dark and gloomy. The fact that I'm not traveling also decreases my motivation to blog, it saddens me that I am no longer sharing images of hidden corners of the world with you guys, images that only I could capture.

But things are going to change. I am about to embark on a new adventure. I have been pretty lucky, getting into the assistant program, getting into NYU, finding the perfect living arrangement and meeting a bunch of awesome people. Now I'm hoping those positive vibes are still buzzing around me as I apply for the Diversity Visa, otherwise known as the Green Card Lottery. I know I've said numerous times that I have no desire to become a U.S. citizen, and that remains true. However I do wish to stay in New York for a few more years and having a green card will make that easier. So, please continue to send me your positive vibes, I'll find out on May 1 2012 if I've got it or not.

UPDATE: For those interested here is the official website for DV Lottery there are other "official" looking websites that often charge a fee, so beware! The DV Lottery is free to apply!

Therapy Thursdays - Termination

2011-09-30T00:57:00.001-04:00

Images of death and dying are frequently playing in my mind, ever since I was a child. Driving through country sides, walking past rubbish dumps, I would consider how easy it would be for a body to be hidden there, how long it would take before someone discovers it. Crossing roads, or cleaning the inside of a blender, I see myself being hit by a speeding driver, the side of my face skidding across the asphalt, or my hand somehow getting stuck and I eventually bleed to death. It wasn't until years later did I realize that these intrusive images are experienced by many who have OCD.

I've spent the past four months in therapy trying to get to the center of myself, the very core of my thoughts, wanting to be "cured" but knowing "self-awareness" is the only cure. I struggled with being both a therapist and a client. Before every session I feel ready to terminate, but towards the end of every session, I know I'd be back the following week.

I reread that email over and over again. And I realized I never said I forgave you. And you never said we're good. I can rationalize your actions, but I can never forgive you. We can never be good, but we can still move on. This is it.

Therapy Thursdays

2011-09-22T00:00:00.000-04:00

I'm sure I've posted this picture before, but today as I was getting ready to write my Therapy Thursday post I realized I just don't quite know how to put things into words. This picture shows my complete happiness for life this very moment, I can remember myself holding back the squeals as I pushed little kids away so I can snap up these photos of baby Nemo times infinity! This week I've been frazzled, I had about 400 things going on at once, I went on the never ending roller coaster of extreme emotions more times than I'd have liked. But right now I'm happy and I'm excited to continue!

This week I did some career guidance with the 9th graders, I asked them questions of what they wanted to be when they were five, what they want to be now and where they actually see themselves in 10 years. To those who know 9th graders, most of them gave me rubbish answers, but there's always a few who takes these things with a hint of seriousness! For me though, I reflected on my past, and how I had wanted my future to turn out. Ten years ago I was dead set on becoming a doctor. Ten years ago I met my first serious boyfriend and thought I'd marry him and have lots of babies with him, then realized I didn't want to marry him or have his babies. Ten years ago I wasn't interested in photography. Ten years ago I couldn't even imagine that I'd be living in New York, working with my therapist so that I could be there for someone else.

Life is kinda funny huh? It's taken 23 years and four different continents, for me to be here. And I love being here and to be honest I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be. Not even Lisbon.

Sad Face

2011-09-15T23:19:00.000-04:00

Being a school counselor is hard. You hear stories that you wish weren't true, you see tears that you wish you could dry and you feel pain that you wish you could take away.

Tonight I am worried, I'm worried that I'm not well enough to be who I need to be, who someone needs me to be.

Therapy Thursdays

2011-09-15T00:00:00.000-04:00

1. Bachelorette and birthday parties have been the highlights of my week. I love being with friends and being able to laugh a really good laugh. Sometimes when I look at Little Boy I get a little jealous that he is able to really laugh, to show such happiness that he has to put his hands over his mouth for fear of exploding in laughter. And it's always the simplest things, for example, me saying, "do not laugh" in a firm voice would send him into fits of giggles. I miss being able to laugh like that.

2. My white duvet, technically it's not mine, it belongs to N and moves around the boys room during the summer months. Last year I waited until the Christmas break to bring this baby into my room, I'm not exactly sure what type of duvet it is, but I am guessing it's down. Whatever it is, it feels good! It's like getting a hug from a giant duckling. It keeps you so warm that I often have to move it to the side so I don't get heatstroke, but once winter fully sets in, I'm going to be fully swaddled in this beautiful thing! The down side (no pun intended) is I will probably never get out of bed.

The Teaching Elf

2011-09-12T22:04:00.001-04:00

It's really funny as I seem to recall two years ago when I first started teaching as an English language assistant, I instantly knew that I would never be able to pursue a career in teaching. Now, having completed a year of school counseling, I find myself missing that aspect of teaching, you know, the part where I tell you what is right or how to think. I mean, yes, I still love to listen to you talk and try my best to make your life bright and shiny, but sometimes I just want to tell you what to do, how to do it, and then make you do it! So I went and applied for a teaching job, was offered the position, accepted it, and starting teaching the very next day. I've only met my students once, a class of 15 in the morning and a class of six in the afternoon, but I feel good about it. I won't go as far as to say I'm loving it, but it's not as frightening as my first day as a language assistant, and it has potential to remain relatively smooth. There are many reasons for this, one, they are ninth and tenth graders, they do not run around, put scissors in the mouths, or punch their neighbor. Two, it's a small class, I mean compared to 31 CM1 kids, 15 doesn't seem so bad. Three, everyone speaks English, hurray! And four, I'm teaching English, but not the "my name is..." English, I mean real English, reading, analyzing literature, essay writing, the good stuff! Of course there're no perfect jobs, the downside is, I'm working on a Saturday starting from 9AM until 6PM, it sucks big time as that only gives me Sunday to sleep in. I'm also teaching maths, this is pretty funny as I haven't had any proper maths classes for the past seven years! Sure I've had a few statistics classes but they are really psychology focused. Thankfully all my students are Asian and are good at maths, I do get the answer key but when there are mistakes on the answer key, I've been cheating a bit and getting two or three students to come up and write out their answer and teach the others, whilst at the same time fooling all my students into thinking I know what I'm doing and am just letting them learn by themselves! The last thing is, they are teenagers, whilst they are pretty well behaved, there are a few who has given me some attitude. So far I've been using my mommy tone that I use with The Boys and it has worked, but I have a feeling that's not going to last very long, we'll see.

In other news, Little Boy has just been a little dote! I'm not really sure what happened, but he has just gotten so affectionate these days and I'm just soaking it up and loving every moment of it! He gives me little kisses on my neck and on my arm, he still licks me, I've given up on trying to change that!

Therapy Thursdays

2011-09-08T00:00:00.000-04:00

1. Eye drops and all modern medicine has to offer (and coffee and tea [and the java and me...]) was what got me through the first day of Fall semester, as I woke up this morning with possible conjunctivitis and a sore throat. On top of that I had a job interview this morning, and between the two classes I also had therapy and some OCD worrying whilst running around campus trying to obtain various of pieces of documents which are "necessary" for me to breath on U.S. soil but probably won't be checked by the non-resident alien (that's what I am!) breathing police!

2. Little Boy and Big Boy. Boy, have I missed these Boys! One of the perks about living with little drunk people, as N and Allie have referred to them/and other young children as, is they run on a tight schedule, which I am in great need of! Gone are the days where I go to sleep at 4AM, wake up at 11AM only to nap/sleep again for 1PM to 8PM. Those were the days!

3. Being an English Language Assistant in France has really calmed my nerves about starting internship. It's really amusing to reflect back on this time two years ago, especially on the first day of work where it was just pure chaos, picture a librarian being placed in a mental asylum and trying to teach patients who are in straitjackets about the Dewey system. That was me on my first day, and on many other days, such a shame my kids weren't in straitjackets! Knowing that I got through some rough days where I almost cried, actually cried or thought about being the accident de personne assures me I am ready for this. I am not expecting it to be a piece of cake, but I know I am lucky enough to have so many (counseling) people around me that I can unload my merde on!

The Growing Elf

2011-09-04T00:46:00.000-04:00

I've been meaning to post this a while ago, but have somehow forgotten. I have grown five centimeters in the past two years. I am now 168cm. This is insane, absurd, PREPOSTEROUS, I know, but it's true. I seem to have had an early twenties growth spurt. Whilst I am delighted with my new found height, there's a part of me that can't help but worry whether my lifestyle have somehow caused some strange mutation within me.

Therapy Thursdays

2011-08-31T21:00:00.000-04:00

1. To have an actual session with my therapist was wonderful! I've taken a five week break whilst I was in Taiwan, and it has been strange having to analyze everything on my own and not being able to share it with someone who can give me neutral feedback (ie. someone who paraphrases and can be my mirror!).

2. To admire my freakishly, obsessively neat handwriting made it possible to fill in forms about my taxes. They are quite confusing, I'll be honest I am pretty lost at the moment, considering I only found out a week ago that I need to file taxes (ha!), but I am so proud of the fact that my handwriting looks like it was typed up and printed off, that I know no matter how long it takes I am going to finish these forms and send them in so someone in the office could be like, "Oooh look at that lovely handwriting!"

3. To start school next Wednesday, yes I am aware that the next Therapy Thursday will most likely include something about weekends, but today, I am ready for some structured learning, or at least some motivation for it! Summer is still a pretty new concept for me, this is my second summer since 2005, and it's been great, I've loved, and gotten over my irrational fear of wearing shorts, and I also don't find the beach/sand as disgusting as I used to, but I still don't think I am ready for consecutive summers where I can just bum around and not do anything (yes, I am also wondering whether I really just said that?).

Elfie vs. Irene - SERIOUSLY?!

2011-08-28T18:03:00.000-04:00

Whilst I am grateful to be alive and well, to have no damages to the house, to still have electricity, I can't help but be slightly annoyed at the fact that nothing happened. OK, that's not true. I know trees have fallen, people have died, power has been out in other places, but here it's been pretty calm. In fact I am positive I've experienced storms worse than this. Mind you, I did think I slept through the worst of it. I'm off to watch the second installment of Twilight to make myself feel better.

Elfie vs. Irene (the hurricane)

2011-08-28T01:00:00.001-04:00

I am far too excited about this hurricane that I can't sleep! I have images running through my mind, of refugees, cannibalistic tribes and father and son duos hiding out in old abandoned houses. It's possible I may have an overactive imagination due to my love to post-apocalyptic films. The truth is, I am scared, I am scared that I am taking this too lightly, I'm worried that I'm not worried enough. I am at home by myself, N and The Boys are all away this weekend. I do live in an evacuation zone, although we are not currently being evacuated and the chance of that happening is slim, but it is possible. And I have no experience with hurricanes, or any other serious natural disaster for that matter. I just want to give friends, family and those reading, a quick update on what's going on. It's raining hard and the wind is picking up speed. I can hear the whoosh coming through the cracks and the doors. It doesn't feel like a hurricane yet, although I have no idea what a hurricane is suppose to feel like, and also I don't think the hurricane has fully arrived in New York City just yet! I am safe for now, and I will be in touch, hopefully!

Therapy Thursdays

2011-08-25T00:00:00.001-04:00

Sorry I never got around to posting Therapy Thursdays last week as I was all up in the air, literally, but I saved the good stuff for this week!

1. Wine, wine and beaucoup more of wine, has totally helped go from the complete baby that I was last week depending on my mama to cut up mangos for me, to the semi-supernanny of Little Boy and Big Boy that I am this week!

2. Watching Awkward. Kate introduced this show to me and it's been great to have that 20 minutes where I can laugh and not freak out about how disorganized my life is at the moment.

3. Being with my friends, in person and online, I can't stress enough how lucky I am to have awesome friends like Aasha and Kate who are always there to say inappropriate things just to make me laugh, listen to my insecurities and beat some sense into me, and act as my therapist when Jesus is busy! Love you (plural)!

The Mother Elf

2011-08-24T14:39:00.000-04:00

When I was a kid I used to watch The Simpsons with my brother a lot, it was funny, it is still funny and I would still watch it on a daily basis if it weren't for the other 16 million television shows that requires my constant attention. But my mom was against The Simpsons, it's not that she didn't allow us to watch it, but every now and then you'd hear her go off about what a bad influence The Simpsons is. At the time I never understood her, I mean it wasn't like I was rubbish at school or pulled any crazy stunts. But now that I am living with Little Boy and Big Boy, I often catch myself in a "mommy" moment, and it's scary! For example, yesterday whilst picking up The Boys from camp, I waited for the boys to say goodbye to their camp counselors as it was their last day. Whilst I have no doubt the camp counselors, who are my age, are very sweet towards the boys, and I can see that the boys loved them, but I was mortified to hear one camp counselor say to Little Boy, "you better come give me a hug, or else I'm going to fart on your face" !!!!! In that split second my mind was playing out the rest of the conversation, and it went something a little like this...

Mother Elf: *whacks camp counselor's head* Excuse me?!?!?!?!?! We do not use such horrible language. I'm putting you in time out, and you may come out when you are ready to apologize and speak proper English. Do you understand me?
Camp Counselor: *sniff* Yes, mother Elf. *looks down and walk away*

But... in reality, I did NOTHING. Shame on me I know, but in the following split second, I thought that these counselors are MY age. And I too, may have been guilty of saying some really horrible things to my young cousins growing up, and had I not been Big Boy and Little Boy's nanny, I would have found that rather funny and perhaps even encouraged Little Boy and Big Boy to say something equally horrendous. The thing is the more time I spend with with The Boys, the more of this "mother" figure becomes a part of me. Sometimes I see The Boys watching Beyblades, Phineas and Ferb, iCarly or anyway of those shows, and I just want to switch it off. Despite having watched the 90s' version of all those programs growing up, I am all of a sudden seeing how these shows have so much nasty content in them! It's not all about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, it's characters making a mess and being viewed as funny, or characters bullying other characters, and all the cheating, lying and emotional mind games that characters play. And I think to myself, is this why I am in therapy now? And while I am laughing at the sentence I just typed, I can't help but be somewhat serious, that kids learn, and they learn fast, they focus on the behavior whilst the moral is kind of left behind.

New York is Where I Call Home

2011-08-21T17:27:00.000-04:00

And so I am back. And I am more than happy to be back in this city. On the flight, I thought about my temporary goodbyes to my mom, my brother, my family, friends and Kate. I thought about my dad and my high school friends whom I haven't seen for yet another year, and all my other friends scattered around the world, whether they still remembered me. Then I thought about New York, I thought about N, Big Boy and Little Boy and all my "New York" friends, and I am filled this excitement and longing to be back in this city. The feeling was so intense that it scared me. Whilst in transit in Osaka, I felt like I couldn't contain myself anymore, that I was going to spontaneously combust if I had to be away from New York for one more second. Of all the cities I've lived in, not even Lisbon can compare with the way New York makes me feel. Is this what home feels like?

Therapy Thursdays

2011-08-11T00:00:00.001-04:00

Sometimes you just have a really good week and even little annoyances such as mosquito bites don't even matter. This week is one of those weeks. The heavy rain, lightning and thunder so loud that I can't hear my thoughts have had such a calming effect on me. It cools my mind like it cools the earth and allows me to reflect on the past three weeks, three fantastic weeks I've spent with my mom, family and friends. With one more week left, I am going to take lazy a whole new level and really rest and recharge before I head back to New York and continue to power through the lazy girl's fast paced life.

The Lazy Elf

2011-08-10T03:21:00.000-04:00

It's true I have been incredibly lazy since being back. I am the baby of the family, and the past two years when I've been away from my mom I've had to do a lot of things on my own. It's not that I was ever incapable, it was more like why bother, or really just laziness. The past two years, I've had to cook (simple) food for myself and even for other people, I've had to do laundry, clean, work, take care of myself and also of two sweet little boys. Being back with my mom I was able to slip back to my baby mode, and I am slightly ashamed to mentioned this on my blog. But there have been many times where I'd just lie on the couch and chant, "MANGO! MANGO! MANGO!" over and over, until my mom gets up and goes to fetch me some mango, cut up in little pieces so I can eat it with a fork. Sometimes When I am too lazy to get up and walk the seven steps to put my dishes away, I'd tell my mom to hold it for me where I scratch my leg and eventually I'd pretend I'd forgotten about the dish that my mom is still holding on for me, and sometimes I might even fake sleep a little, eventually my mom will put the dishes away, and I get away with not having to get off the couch!

Anyway, enough stories of my complete laziness. I wish I can write fluently on all the fun things that have happened since I've been back, but I think being in this state of complete rest (laziness) has made my words go into hibernation. Fear not, once I am back in New York, and out of my baby mode, my language will come back to me. For now, I think it's time for some "MANGO! MANGO! MANGO!"

Therapy Thursdays

2011-08-04T00:00:00.003-04:00

1. Snorkeling at Green Island was fantastic when the heat became unbearable, such a shame I didn't see any seahorses.

2. Taking pictures of stars reminded me of Croatia and my life when I used to visit to a foreign city every few weeks. This past year has been difficult, as I am studying in New York, which is a fantastic place to be. But every now and then I get a bit emotional over the fact that I haven't been traveling. Taking travel photos like these helps remind me that I am still living that life, just a slower version of it!

3. Hearing people tell me I'm beautiful when I have my off days!

Therapy Thursdays

2011-07-28T00:00:00.020-04:00

1. Sleep, sleeping for 15 hours has made me a much happier person after a week of packing, unpacking, and general moving about!

2. Watching Mad Men already downloaded on my computer when there's no internet access despite being introduced to this show over a year ago, I've only just started watching it a few weeks ago. It makes me want to live in the 50's!

3. Woolly Whales, like the one in this clip, when the heat is unbearable, and I wish I could be at the beach with a woolly whale!

Tan

2011-07-26T05:32:00.000-04:00

I've gotten about five shades darker since being back in Taiwan and I'm loving it! I laugh when I see women (my aunt), wearing clothes that cover every inch of their body apart from their nostrils, holding sun umbrellas and applying SPF 3000 sunscreen. It amazes me how they can function in this heat with all those clothes on!

Warm Fuzzies to Norway

2011-07-23T09:31:00.000-04:00

I had the most marvelous day today with my cousins, niece and nephews, and I am sending all my warm fuzzies to Norway, and so should you!

Therapy Thursdays

2011-07-21T00:00:00.004-04:00

This is Therapy Thursdays, a list of things that have had a therapeutic effect on the little things that make my life miserable this week.

1. My thoughts helped me through the 18 hours of travel from JFK to TPE.

2. Whiskey and coke on the plane soothed the pain from my growing wisdom teeth.

3. Seeing my Mama after two years made EVERYTHING better!

The Yellow Chick and the White Guy

2011-07-17T12:40:00.001-04:00

I recently went on a date with a white guy. It's nothing new, in fact going out with an Asian guy would be a first. The topic of the yellow chick and white guy combo has come up many times through discussions with my friends. And it's a topic I am fascinated with yet somewhat afraid of. It's true there is a strong obsession for non-Asian (mostly white) guys amongst Asian girls. Physical attraction and the biological need to create healthy (attractive) babies is obvious. The more diverse the gene pool the healthier the offspring would be, and we see this vitality in attractive people. I've always believed that the reason why I've never dated Asian guys was because, there are few Asian guys within close proximity (and by proximity I mean Asian guys I actually interact with, socially). I always wonder how different my taste in men would be had I grown up in Taiwan, and the truth is I don't think physical appearance plays any role in that. Rather, it would be the values and traditions and culture that changes my opinion of the other person. For example, I like to believe that had my parents been more like the "typical" Asian parents, I would be content to just live at home until I am married to a dentist and then move in with him and his parents.

So, to go back to the yellow chick and the white guy combo, my date with the white guy the other day confirmed my theory. There are two types of this combination, the first can often be found in Asian countries, the sometimes-hideous-looking(-but-not-always)-white-guy-who-can't-really-spell-yet-teaches-English-to-15-year-olds paired with the usually-hideous(-but-has-incredible-make-up-skills)-ditzy-yellow-chick-who-wants-to-marry-a-foreigner-and-become-a-housewife-with-beautiful-babies-who-will-eventually-become-models-because-of-how-good-looking-they-are. Now, there's nothing wrong with that, we all want beautiful babies, we are all free to make our judgements, but there's no need to burst their bubble with our harsh comments. The second type of this unique combination has, and perhaps I'm being biased, little to do with physical appearance, either one could range from hideously deformed to incredibly good looking, but their relationship wouldn't raise any, for want of a better word, suspicions.

Now, this post is entirely my own personal view, on the topic of the yellow chick and the white guy combination, please do not be offended. At this point, I truly believe that these are the only two types of this unique combination. Any attempt at trying to switch it up a little would probably cause one party to leave feeling somewhat negative and perhaps will lead him or her to write a blog post similar to this! So what did I learn from this date? There is a difference between being interested in someone then learning about his or her life, versus being interested in a way of life and learning about someone. For me, I definitely prefer the former, but I must admit the distinction is often hard to make and it times I wonder if it really matters, which then makes me want to delete this entire post and write something trivial instead, but I won't, I'll just leave it here for you guys to think about it.

Therapy Thursdays

2011-07-14T00:00:00.006-04:00

This is Therapy Thursdays, a list of things that have had a therapeutic effect on the little things that make my life miserable this week.

1. Reading encouraging emails from school counselors all over Europe have assured me that I am on the right track to get to where I want to be, as I prep myself for the BEA exam.

2. Seeing my beautiful friends on photos and knowing they are happy with my photos makes all the frustrations and pressure of taking good photos and editing them all worth it!

3. Listening to Manchester Orchestra's I can feel a hot one as I picture myself packing, traveling and wandering the streets of Taipei once again.

The Brain of a Genius

2011-07-12T19:55:00.000-04:00

This is me, the inside of my brain. If you remember I talked about participating in a research where I get to have an fMRI done. Sadly they didn't give me the actual scans of my brain, but I did get this awesome picture! The whole process was pretty cool. I put in ear plugs and then they placed headphones on me. I lay down and they put this frame thing over my head and then I was elevated and moved into the fMRI machine. Staying still wasn't difficult, but staying awake was. I'm not sure what it was with magnets but being in that huge magnetic field made me so sleepy, but as soon as they turned the machine off and pulled me out to readjust the heating device I was wide awake. I've been staring at this picture of my brain pretty much at any chance I get, it's the wallpaper on my iPhone at the moment, so I am looking at it 24/7. I am quite disappointed with the shape of my head though. Friends have said there is a resemblance with Homer Simpson's head, and I must admit I see it too. Thankfully I have a whole head of beautiful hair that compensates for my ugly head shape, and as you can clearly see, my brain size is at least quadruple the size of Homer's! This Thursday I'm going back in the fMRI again, to do the actual experiment, as the one last week was the control, I'm hoping to be able to get more images of brain, would be wonderful if I could get some comparison pictures.

Speaking of Thursdays, Therapy Thursdays is all set to go!

Mourning the Deaths of Languages

2011-07-08T18:41:00.000-04:00

With only eight days to go before my Bilingual Extension Assessment, I've been cramming. I haven't had an exam since finishing up my bachelor's degree. At first I was worried about the language component of this exam, whilst I speak Mandarin fluently, written Chinese is not my forte thanks to the invention of computers and auto-correct! But after borrowing the Foundations of Bilingual Education I've realized I should focus more on the non-linguistic part of the exam. The irony though is the more I study the less clear I am on what I am studying for. Don't get me wrong, I am too old to be pulling the I-quit trick (when I was younger I learnt the piano, the cello and participated in various other activities from gymnastics to drama, but eventually I quit them all! Due to laziness and fear of failure, mostly laziness though!) plus I am financially chained to NYU, so becoming a bilingual school counselor is still the destination I'm aiming for. On the other hand, I don't want to restrict myself, being a school counselor can't be my final destination (death is... I do love that film), because I am almost there. So, back to my exam prep, today I've come to realize it's not that I've lost my motivation to become a school counselor, it's that I've remembered how much I love languages and how much I want to be apart of that world again, and I will.

I don't know if it's one of those crazy sentimental moods that I get just before I travel (and every other day), but seeing the book describe languages as if they were panda bears and forests, the whole Darwin's survival of the fittest just made me want to go out there and adopt a baby language and nurture it and give it a real chance in this big, big world. And this is where I leave you tonight, before I start to weep, if you speak a minority language please, please, PLEASE pass it on. Without intergenerational transmission and no bilingual education, a language could DIE WITHIN TWO TO THREE GENERATIONS!!!!!

Therapy Thursdays

2011-07-07T00:00:00.027-04:00

I like the idea of having Therapy Thursdays, although I am not too sure what it is just yet. I actually have therapy on Wednesdays, but I like the alliteration of the unvoiced "th". Obviously I am not stupid enough to discuss therapy sessions on this blog, but I do want to do something therapy related, as it is a topic I am quite fond of. I thought about keeping it light and playing a game where I give characteristics of strangers I meet and have you guys all make an attempt to diagnose them, because we all know there are some cr@zies out there! However this would be a very dangerous game as you never know who you'd meet and how that person might change your life, plus making fun of people anonymously is never cool, DON'T DO IT!!!!!

Any ideas on what I can do for Therapy Thursdays? Of course I could always find another unvoiced "th" word such as "Thanatology Thursdays" where we talk about death, or "Thermophilic Thursdays" where we talk about things that love heat, or even "Threnody Thursdays" where we listen to songs of lamentation! [lamentation: n. the act of bewailing; audible expression of sorrow; wailing; moaning] I am starting to like the idea Threnody Thursdays!

Side note: We all know I have commitment issues, so I am going to think long and hard before I commit myself to anything again, but I kinda want to start something now that I'm finished with my "a photo a day" project. Plus I really wanted to share the picture I did up there, it's something really simple, in fact I only took the picture from Shabby Blogs and added the words on top and played around with colors and opacity. But, I did it on Photoshop!!!!! I only just got it today and I am looking forward to messing around with some hardcore photo editing!

So, stay tuned for next week's Therapy Thursdays, which might or might not be there, and if it is there, it might be something else! I am full of surprises!!!!!

Elfie at the $12.00 Beach

2011-07-05T14:24:00.000-04:00

A trip to the beach is something I've recently started to enjoy. Having had four years of winter before leaving NZ, visits to the beach were rare. Since visiting Croatia and the south of France last summer, I've come to truly appreciate beaches. So on Saturday when Aasha texted me at 11.00AM saying we're heading to Long Beach, and meeting in 90 minutes, I got my lazy ass out of bed and got ready in record speed. Although we arrived at Penn Station with time to spare, we did spend about 20 minutes trying to find each other in an area no bigger than a football field, who knew there are two of every store in the station?!

On the train we were lucky enough to get six seats together so we didn't have to sit next to, what Ben calls, "randos", because that would've ruined our trip! After the hour long ride joking about the tiny slice of orange Ben was going to share, but never did, and watching Aasha nibble on her sandwich we made it to Long Beach. Getting off the train and walking down the platform was a like walking in a funeral procession! It was crowded! After getting out of the station and going past the pushover traffic police we headed into a wee store to get our beach passes.

When I heard the word beach pass I thought perhaps we were going to some exclusive beach, or perhaps they were conducting some survey and needed us to sign in and get information from us. Nope, the beach pass was simply a $12.00 plastic card that allows you to enter the beach. Yes, you heard me, twelve dollars to enter the beach. I spent money to dip my toes in some grotty water and to lie on sand and soak up the sun, which are all natural elements that I have every right to enjoy without having to pay twelve freakin dollars.

Don't get me wrong, I had a fabulous day with my friends, building up my tan and cooling off in the ocean, but I'm not so into beaches that I am willing to fish out another twelve dollars to enjoy what is rightfully mine. So for now, I'm sticking to the free beaches, seriously though, Coney Island wasn't so bad last September!

2011-06-27T00:32:00.003-04:00

Williamsburg Bridge at night

Cigarette

2011-06-27T00:31:00.000-04:00

I am not a smoker. I've smoked a cigarette, a spliff here and there but I am not a smoker. I'm not addicted, I don't even consider it to be a social thing. I know my profile picture shows me with a cigarette, but I purposely did it for the photo. To me the image of someone smoking is just pure sexy. This past year I've had moments where I feel so nervous that I need to smoke. I don't quite understand it, perhaps I am somehow addicted to nicotine, but rather than feeling the need to smoke constantly, the urges just come once in a blue moon. Has this ever happened to anyone before? I feel like perhaps my mind is playing a trick on me, that I believe smoking would help get rid of some of those anxieties, because isn't that what many smokers do when they get nervous? No I know nicotine is a funny wee thing that switches between stimulant and depressant, and I know that I will probably need to smoke more than one cigarette at a time for the depressant to dominate my mind, but usually half way through the first I start to feel icky and that horrible smoky aftertaste begins to appear, and the thought of smoking another one just makes me want to vomit. Sadly it seems no matter how many times I've gone through this, I can't seem to teach my brain that smoking never achieves the results I imagined.

So why am I smoking tonight? Because my phone is on flight mode. Why is it on flight mode? Because if it's not I'd be checking my phone every two minutes to see if The Other Boy has replied to me yet. Tonight I feel like a part of my brain refuses to grow up. And it seems no matter how much drug and alcohol I shove down it's tiny porous membrane, it shrinks its little pores and pokes its little membrane tongue at me (yeah... I never made it to second semester bio). I'm off to watch Mad Men and hope that media will speed things up.

fMRI

2011-06-19T22:17:00.000-04:00

It's all set! I'm going for my fMRI scan on June 30th and again on July 7th. The study I am doing is on the effects of analgesics on the brain. Basically I'm going to be performing little cognitive tasks while they use a machine to burn my left arm where the analgesic has been applied. I am hoping I get to keep the scans, if not I will at least ask for a picture of it, what can I say? I love having pictures of my internal organs.

So first year of grad school is over. I submitted my final assignment for the summer class on Thursday. It's not my best work, in fact it was pretty rubbish. Although I have the chance to resubmit, I just don't want to make the effort. Two reasons, one, I am just lazy. Two, I am not satisfied with the class. It was a class I was really looking forward to taking, instead it was a waste. The things the professor discussed were things we covered in PSYC 101. Not only did he not go in depth, I felt he deliberately avoided teaching what we paid money to learn. This has been on mind for a while, especially with a lot of complaints about our program floating around in the air. Is it all worth it? Ultimately the answer is of course yes, I am living in New York, pursuing something I care about, life is swell, I can't imagine doing anything better at this moment (except perhaps, lounging by the water in Lisbon, with my Portuguese lovers feeding me natas). Truth is, by the time you get to grad school, you're already pretty damn smart. It's not so much acquiring knowledge anymore, but rather being exposed to opportunities. Opportunities that leads to experiences. I just wish these opportunities didn't rob my non-existent children of their non-existent inheritance.

How are you guys liking my new blog layout? I think it's pretty snazzy! I have this Feedjit widget to the right there, and it's pretty cool. It tells me where you guys are from and I check on it daily and try to guess who you guys are! One thing that I can see, that you guys can't is how you got here. Of course there are those who follow me, and they come directly from their corner of the internet, and those who found me through another blog. I get the occasional Couchsurfer, but my favorite are always the ones who come from a Google search. The cool thing is I can actually see what you typed in the search box to get here! Sure, some of you, like La Turballe from Pays de la Loire, who searched "elf in town" and got here, because, and I assume, you wanted to. But there are always the random searches that crack me up. For example, Glasgow from Glasgow City who arrived here by searching, "utube town scared by elf", I assure you Glasgow I am not a scary elf! Or Dublin, who came over for a visit a few days ago, having searched "a woman packing a suitcase at 2am", really Dublin, if you ever come back please let me know your story! There have been other funny ones, mostly to do with elves, I wasn't aware there is a significant population out there who Google elves, but I do appreciate your visits!

Prostitu[i]tion

2011-06-14T21:31:00.001-04:00

Grad schools are expensive, private grad schools are even more expensive, private grad schools in New York are... too scary to be mentioned on this blog. I am very fortunate to be able to live in this great city rent free, and to have my dad pay for tuition, but sometimes I just can't control my compulsive spending habits. Sure I get a small weekly allowance, which is actually quite enough if I wasn't tempted by Zara, H&M and Mango on a daily basis (Side note: I am facing a huge dilemma, in order to save up some money, I've stopped buying unlimited Metrocards, as most of the time I'm not going further north than 14th St. But now that I am walking to campus I actually go past all the yummy shops on Broadway and more often than not, I'll pop in and buy something that I don't actually need, therefore spending more money. Of course I could pick another route, but I'd much rather the shops just close when I walk by!). Thus, when my bank accounts are looking a bit bulimic, I do what any girl would do, sell my body, for research that is. Whilst guys can easily sell their Olympic swimmers for a quick buck, for women the procedure is much more invasive, of course it does pay more, but the thought of little psychotic Elfies running around scares the bejesus out of me! So instead I turn to Craigslist and look for "fun" research projects recruiting participants. It's not an easy job to find these studies, often they are looking for specific participants, or you are screened out during interviews, or the study is just too "experimental". But sometimes you'll stumble on to a good one and get $100.00 for only two wee vials of blood. And it's for a good cause, it's like a reverse donation to a charity. You make your contribution to the scientific world, and in return they give you MONEY!!!!! There are also plenty of psychology studies out there where your cells wouldn't even need to be extracted from you. And now with the ethics police running around, it's highly unlikely you'd be traumatized in any way!

Anywhoo... I decided to write this post because my bank account is currently looking a bit bulimic and I might have the opportunity to have my brain scanned in an fMRI on Friday! I am actually more excited to do this than to receive the compensation. It's almost impossible to have a brain scan when there's no reason for you to have one. So please send your awesome pick-Elfie-for-the-fMRI vibes so I can see pictures of my brain!!!!!

#365 The End

2011-06-06T12:41:00.003-04:00

I can't believe I finished. Although it's taken me almost two years, I've finished! I decided to finish this project with a photo that has me IN it. I often look really awkward in photos because I am behind the camera so much that when it's turned on me I have a minor panic attack. This photo is taken by Allie, and I think she did an awesome job at capturing how grateful I am to be free from this project ha, and I am very happy for her photo to be the one that ends this series. Thanks to all who patiently waited for my photos and viewed my photos even when they were really crap. I will most definitely continue to take photos, as I really like the idea of people traveling with me in photos and seeing what I see but, I will have to think long and hard before I try to make a commitment to anything again!

#364

2011-06-06T12:40:00.003-04:00

Summer in the south

#363

2011-06-06T12:39:00.003-04:00

My wallpaper

#362

2011-06-06T12:37:00.002-04:00

Lily pads

#361

2011-06-06T12:36:00.002-04:00

It's hot

Memphis

2011-06-06T12:33:00.001-04:00

I'm back from Memphis! I flew over with Delta on Thursday, my first time flying with an American airline, thankfully I didn't have to check in any bags so nothing went missing. But it's true what they say about American airlines, the service of a budget airline with the price of regular airlines. There was a flight attendant on board whom I had mistaken to be another passenger, she was a frumpy old woman, wearing a navy sweater and skirt and no name tag!

It was so nice to see Allie again, although I've seen pictures of her with short hair it was still surprising to see it in person! Walking out of the airport was like walking into a sauna. The heat was just ridiculous! Hot and sticky would be how I describe the climate in Memphis. We went to meet Allie's friends and then headed to a restaurant bar for some dinner and drinks. The place was huge, all the tables were filled up but it wasn't crowded at all! And the best thing, well one of the best things, was how cheap the drinks were! Oh. My. God. I paid $4.00 for a bourbon and coke, FOUR DOLLARS! With that price I couldn't even complain about the missing wedge of lemon in my drink!

Allie's wonderful parents lives in the suburbs and having recently watched The Virgin Suicides all I could think about was how "American" it was. Living in New York has made me forget what it's like in places where things are spread out. Allie's room is about five times bigger than mine, no jokes!

The food in Memphis was so good! I managed to have gained back all the weight I had lost in the past three weeks, and I was only there for four days, I don't even want to think what I'd look like if I lived there!

Oh Memphis, I will miss your food, accent and your cheap, cheap drinks! Thanks again Allie for an awesome time, it was really great to see you and I hope to see you soon!

#360

2011-06-05T23:29:00.002-04:00

Zeus

#359

2011-06-05T23:27:00.005-04:00

#358

2011-06-05T23:27:00.004-04:00

#357

2011-06-05T23:19:00.002-04:00

Oh so green

#356

2011-06-05T23:18:00.003-04:00

Going south

2am Suitcase

2011-06-02T02:05:00.000-04:00

It's two in the morning, and my room is clean, suitcase in the middle not yet filled to the brim. Documents beside it, and a load of clean clothes currently in the dryer. Camera charged and ready to go. Oh how I have missed this life!

M Is For...

2011-05-28T16:27:00.000-04:00

Mango, mangosteen, Memphis and ménage à trois. Just before you guys get your hopes up, I am not going to talk about ménage à trois in this post. So... I am going to Memphis next Thursday! I am super excited because I am going to catch up with my super awesome, BFF, travel buddy Allie! We haven't seen each other for almost a year and I am just dying to be in a foreign city with her again! I am also looking forward to being finished with this goddamn photo a day project that I started almost two years ago (it was meant to be a one year project). I solemnly swear I will complete this project with 365 photos in TWO WEEKS. Even if it means I have to take silly photos of my feet, or random fruits (see below, and various other entries in the past where I've just been lazy), although I will do my best to not sink to that level.

As you can see from the picture beneath, I bought mangosteens!!!!! This is by far my favorite fruit. On a scale of zero to 100, zero being it's-so-gross-even-the-thought-of-it-makes-me-vomit-in-my-mouth and 100 being I-could-eat-this-for-the-rest-of-my-life. Mangos are at 100 but mangosteens are at 7000. I am not kidding you. One reason I am so obsessed by them is how rare and flipping expensive they are. Sure they are funny looking and taste great, but I think it is the rarity of it that makes me obsessed with them. Having spent most of my life in New Zealand the chances of seeing a mangosteen in the supermarket is about 0.001%, and the chance of persuading my mom to buy one for me is even less. The last time I ate a mangosteen was at least a decade ago. A few weeks ago I started seeing mangosteens popping up in Chinatown, I was over the moon. It took me a while to get them because I usually never have cash or when I do, they are never there. But today, I made the effort to leave the house for the sole purpose of buying mangosteens, and it was a success. I must admit, the price shocked me a little bit. I knew they were $8.99 a pound, but they were packaged in these yellow netted bags, so I stupidly assumed that one bag must equal one pound (I work in the metric system, pounds mean nothing to me), I took a bag and gave it to the man who put it on the scale, I wondered why he was weighing it, before I even reached a conclusion he said $17.00 dollars. Thankfully I had on my sunglasses and he couldn't see shock in my eyes. Whilst putting back the ten dollar bill I had ready in my hands and fishing out the twenty in my wallet, I told myself, "This is why I left the house today, and even if they cost $100.00 and the toes of my firstborn, I am going home with mangosteens TODAY!!!!!". So I walked home absolutely delighted with my purchase. I ate two already, they were so good! I am tempted to write "THIS BELONGS TO ELFIE, DO NOT EAT!!!!!" on them, because I do not want to share them.

In other news, summer school has been like high school. And not just the fact we are doing adolescent development, we went through physical development on day two (ha!), but it's two hours of class, four days of the week, consecutive days might I add. I know, high school was much worse, at least I don't have to get up early for summer school. But having the same class day after day has been hard.

Well I am off to get ready for my hair appointment, I hope it ends well.

#355

2011-05-28T15:15:00.003-04:00

Mangosteen, we meet again

New Look

2011-05-22T17:00:00.002-04:00

How are you guys liking my new look? I must say, this change was somewhat unintentional, and it has given me quite the headache as I realize how tech un-savvy I am! It's still not quite what I had in mind, but I might commit suicide if I try to mess with it again. It all started when NYU decided to switch their emails over to Google which caused many issues as my life is basically being controlled by Google right now. So I decided to move this blog over to Wordpress, it wasn't a very smart decision for two reasons. One, I don't know how to use Wordpress and two, I was stupid enough to somehow delete my original template without saving it.

First year of grad school is over, summer school starts tomorrow. I wanna get a haircut.

My Bunnies

2011-04-23T18:35:00.004-04:00

Here's my sad, pathetic attempt to crawl back into the photo world. I made these two bunnies for Big Boy and Little Boy. Though I refer them as Big Boy and Little Boy (they do actually have names), N refers them as Bunny No. 1 and Bunny No. 2. And might I just add, there has been arguments over who can be Bunny No. 2! My Bunny Boys have been away this week visiting their grandmother in Florida, and whilst I have enjoyed the peace and calm, and the ability to actually get some of my assignments done, I have to say, I kinda do miss them! Hope everyone had a good Easter!

F minor

2011-04-19T08:17:00.000-04:00

This past week has not been an easy one. With only three weeks of school left the assignments are starting to pile on. Recent events have also brought back memories of Rémy and I, which sparked a whole array of negative emotions. It upsets and frightens me to think that I am back in the exact same position as I was in almost exactly a year ago. To relive hallucinations and seizures, as if I anticipate them again. But of course, it's never the exact same, in fact it couldn't be more different. This time, instead of foolishly diving into something new, or booking random trips overseas, I am letting this discomfort sit with me for a while. It may seem a bit like self-torture, but I have reasons to believe it will do me some good! I'm trying to strengthen the very core of my being, to focus on myself and to grow.

Recently I've been watching less films and instead, surrounding myself in music. I've started playing the keyboard again, currently working on Satie's Gnossienne No. 1. It takes a lot of focus, and my OCD tendencies don't help either. It drives me insane, this need to perfect the piece. But it's a beautiful piece of music, and it deserves perfection. It inspires to write, to compose.

The weather here is getting warmer and warmer, but it's still not really consistent. We get random bouts of heavy rain and thunderstorms, which I do enjoy. But I am looking for a more permanent Spring/Summer so I can go sit on the grass and tan, my legs have returned to its normal pastiness!

Here And Now

2011-04-03T13:34:00.000-04:00

The concept of being in the here and now is something I've learnt through my classes at NYU. It's not a difficult concept but it's taken me a good while to be in the here and now. It's funny to think that living in the present can be difficult, when it is what we are all doing, physically. But mentally, it's a whole different story. I am constantly influenced by what has happened in the past, or my mind wanders into the future , but to stay in the present mentally, it takes a lot of effort, for me anyway. So, despite being into the fourth month of 2011, I've only just come up with my new year's resolution, that is to work hard at staying in the here and now.

The weather in New York is finally warming up, although we did get some rubbish snow the other day. But on the whole it's been sunny, warmish and... Nice. I am really looking forward to the hot, lazy summer days like the towards the end of my time in Angers, in Europe or when I first arrived in New York. This summer I am also going back to Taiwan! It's been about three years since I've been back, and although this time I am only going to be back for a month, I feel like it's the right amount of time. I am coming to terms that now that I am older, that there are more factors I have to take into consideration when it comes to dividing my time. Here in New York I have school, my friends, Big Boy, Little Boy and The Other Boy. In New Zealand, I have my parents and my high school friends and in Taiwan there's my whole extended family plus a handful of friends and not to mention my brother in Shanghai, and friends everywhere else. It saddens me that I can't see everyone at least once a year, but that's life.

Spring Phở-ward

2011-03-18T22:23:00.000-04:00

Spring forward, fall back, that's a wonderful trick at remembering daylight saving that Allie taught me. I must say this wake up an hour earlier thing hasn't been fun but this awesome warm weather sure is! Right now, at almost ten o'clock at night, it is 19ºC! nine-freakin-teen degrees baby! Not to mention the sunlight is wonderful! It continues to make me smile when Little Boy asks me, "Elfie, why is it still morning time?" when I go pick him up at five in the afternoon.

I know it's cliché but Spring does represent new life and all the out with old and in with the new shenanigan! I've been holding on to someone for a while now. Even after I told myself numerous times that I have to let go, I held on because I am a dreamer. The irony, or rather the tragedy of it was I let him weave an intricate belief in my mind, that I shouldn't be who I am and I did my best to change myself to be someone who I thought was the real me hiding in the fake me, which is in fact the real me. Ha! It's complicated, and I guess that's the irony of it. Our relationship started with the discussion that my relationship before that was complicated, and look where that lead me. But enough of that, right now I am simply happy, blissfully happy! Yes, I am well aware it could the combination of love, drugs and phở running through my veins that's making me somewhat high, but it has been a while since I've felt this good.

Elfie vs. Costco

2011-02-27T14:11:00.001-05:00

It has been a while since I wrote a real entry, so I figured it's time to give you all an update of my life so far in 2011!

School has been great, minus that horrid six hour seminar on drug alcohol education/child abuse identification/school violence. I basically spent half the time looking at Meredith's photos from birth to present day, and the other half practicing my left handed writing! In other school related news, I have my internship!!!!! It was actually a much easier process than I had expected. I contacted one school, I was lucky enough that one of my professors worked at that school, he fixed me up with an appointment and I got it! There are many great things about this school, for one, while the majority of the students are Asians, there is a fair amount of diversity. Two, the school counselor seems like great, and three, it's a 12 minute walk from the apartment, which means I can totally do internship, grad school and looking after Big Boy and Little Boy! It is such a relief to know that I will continue to have a place to stay next year and won't have to worry about rent and other money issues!

Whenever I go to a new country I try my best to not have any expectations, that way I tend to really experience the country. However we all know it's difficult to erase any stereotypes, and especially with the U.S. it's like a stereotype factory, and the stereotypes are thrown at us from left, right and center! From the media, we see cheerleaders, red plastic cups, beer pong, creepy small towns with serial killers... And the list goes on! So instead of trying to sweep these stereotypes under the rug, I work hard at living out these stereotypes! I have seen cheerleaders, I've drank from a red plastic cup, I've played beer pong and I've even visited a creepy small town! But yesterday, I went to Costco (and Target)! I knew what Costco was, but one never "knows" what Costco is until one has visited Costco. The place is MASSIVE!!!!! It's like Warehouse version of Countdown, but the size is multiplied by 20, for you Kiwis! Toilet paper comes in packets of 3000 rolls, cereal comes in ten box bundles or a 10 kg box. OK, I may be exaggerating just a tad, but really it's impressive! And it's CHEAP! I know it's expensive to live in New York, but honestly if you shop exclusively at Costco (I know that's impossible) you could save a ton!

Elfie with an overflowing Costco trolley

What's so cool about Costco is they also have really cheap food! Mind you, you shouldn't really eat that kind of rubbish after sampling all the other foods inside, but it's so cheap! Fizzy drinks for 59 cents and you get free refills!!!!! However, for fear of becoming morbidly obese, it's safe to say Costco might be a once in a blue moon activity! Thanks Meredith for taking me to Costco!

Elfie with a HUGE block of cheese and her 59 cents coke with free refill, in a rented car that can be operated on an iPhone

As many of you know that there has been an earthquake in Christchurch, New Zealand. It's the city where I grew up, it's the city where my immediate lives, and many of my dear friends are still in Christchurch. The death toll currently stands at 147, with 200 or so people still missing. I am very fortunate that my mom is safe, and my friends are all safe. It is going to take a lot to rebuild the city, physically, mentally and financially. Thus I am asking you, please send some awesome positive vibes to Christchurch, and if you are feeling uber generous, you may consider donating to The Christchurch Earthquake Appeal.

Katie

2011-02-13T00:19:00.000-05:00

Dear Katie,
This is the blog that I promised you I'd write a few days after you had arrived in New York. From the first night you stayed over, I knew I was going to fall even deeper in love with you. You radiate such positive energy, it's so hard to move away from you.

Tonight, sitting next to you in the dark, listening to that wonderful music, I let the my mind drift all over the past month, the past seven years. And my heart cracked a little knowing that tomorrow you won't be in the same city as me. Knowing that we are going back to how we started, but it's different this time. This time we left footsteps and laughter all over New York, these wonderful little traces of you that will surprise me when I turn a corner.

On the métro back, it really hit me that we won't be having pho together for a while. It seemed that our final goodbye was kind of dramatic, unexpected! I thought about staying on for another stop, and really I should have, because I got off too early! For a little while I was mad that I had gotten off too early, that I had wasted that precious extra two minutes I would have had with you. I ended up taking the 6 train and getting off at Bleeker, it was a much longer walk than expected. But it gave me the calm I needed. I started humming Katie. I heard this song when I was in Ireland, and at the time I never thought I'd have such a wonderful Katie in my life.

Being away from you will be difficult, I will be depressed for a while, but I'll be fine! Come running home again Katie, if you don't then "I'm gonna spank your butt"!

#354

2011-01-28T15:48:00.004-05:00

My robot friend

#353

2010-12-29T19:06:00.003-05:00

Hearts for my love

Coursing Through My Veins

2010-12-19T23:26:00.001-05:00

I am an analytical person, that's impossible to deny. In theory I love all this live like there's no tomorrow, dance like no one's watching shenanigan, but in reality, I regret many things I have done, and many things I haven't done. I torture myself with all the possible outcomes that would have occurred had I chose better words, had I arrived earlier, had I smiled a different way... And the list goes on.

People who don't know me often say I am brave, courageous, that I make spontaneous decisions and really go for it. Truth is, I am scared of just about everything, I have never made a decision lightly. Although that doesn't mean I haven't done some pretty insane things, I swear if I had a daughter who pulled some of the tricks I pulled, she'd so be shipped to a nunnery in the Swiss Alps in no time! So why do I do this? For the thrill, to feel that rush of blood to the head, to be lost in a foreign city, to know I have restrictions, to know I have the strength to push those boundaries. And simply, to know I am alive.

Today I made a decision and I am scared of the outcome. But I am going for it, because I know whatever happens in the end, I will know myself a little bit better and I will know that foreign city just a little bit better.

It's adventure time! On y va!

#352

2010-12-17T23:30:00.003-05:00

Tu me manques

#351

2010-12-17T23:29:00.003-05:00

With love

It's December

2010-12-17T23:11:00.001-05:00

I've been meaning to write, really I have! I had started an entry on my trip to Boston, but things happen and I never got to finish it, and now it seems so long ago, I could barely remember what happened, actually alcohol may have played a huge part in that! So, since my last entry, I have completed my first semester of grad school, which included the experience of writing eight papers within two weeks, procrastination is in my genes! I've also had some intense visits to the dental school, I've still got my wisdom teeth but I also have some pretty nasty cuts in my mouth when my guy decided to play Dr. Christian Szell in my mouth. OK, it wasn't his fault that my right side is particularly resistant to anesthesia! At least the fillings have now been filled.

Things at home are also going well, The Boys and I are getting close, if not too close! I find myself saying a lot of bizarre things to them such as, "Don't lick my lower back!" or "No, we can't take showers together!" and the most recent, "You do have pretty lips!". I bought Little Boy a lip balm because he kept using mine, yeah... And he is obsessed with that strawberry scented lip balm, he puts it on himself every three minutes, and I literally have to hide in my room just so he wouldn't try to put it on me again. What's great about this lip balm though, is that I can totally threaten him about confiscating the lip balm when he misbehaves, and also because it's Christmas time, I love saying, "Oh I hope Santa's watching you!" when he's doing something he shouldn't be doing!

I find it hard to believe that it's already December, it has already snowed a bit and New York is absolutely freezing! It's not as humid as Angers, or Saumur, but the wind seriously cuts through your clothes and your flesh, right to your bones. I am planning on going further north than 14th St to get some New York Christmas photos, it's just that these days all I want to do is to hibernate in my bed. But rest assured I will get some awesome Christmas photos!

#350

2010-11-24T21:54:00.003-05:00

Boston

#349

2010-11-24T21:49:00.004-05:00

Falling in love

Psychotic Woman And Corduroy Pants

2010-11-07T16:12:00.001-05:00

Since finding out I'd be living in New York, one of the major concerns that my parents and extended family have is safety. Sure my parents are always concerned for my safety whenever I am traveling, but New York is different. From what they say, it seems that I'd be mugged and stabbed on a daily basis. I've really had to reassure them that where I live is pretty damn safe, so much so we often leave the doors unlocked ha! But boy have things changed this week!

On Thursday I went to pick up both Boys, due to the heavy rain the stroller had been pretty wet by the time we got home so I left it under the stairs in the main lobby for it to dry out. The next day started out as normal, I got up and helped got The Boys up and ready. When it came time to take Little Boy to school, I took him downstairs and walked towards the stairs to pull out the stroller. As I approached the stroller I smelled chlorine. As soon as Little Boy saw the stroller he jumped onto it and said that it was wet. I pulled him right off and made him go wash his hands with soap!

Back to the stroller, I noticed some spots of discoloration, as it had only been a few spots I assumed must have been bleach from the cleaners that had leaked from the stairs and dripped onto the stroller. I did my best with the paper towel so Little Boy won't sit in the bleach. When we got to the school and Little Boy stood up I was shocked to see the back of his clothes all bleached out. I was getting ready to pack to stroller up and call N, as soon as I pulled the straps, and the stroller folded in half about half a liter of bleach went on my leg! I tried to wash it off in the tiny kiddy bathroom but came out looking like I had peed my pants. With all that bleach I was positive it wasn't some accident, that someone had deliberately poured bleach over Little Boy's stroller. Why anyone would do that is beyond me.

After calling N, and taking a shower, OCD style, I went with N to the precinct (I get a kick every time I use an "American" word!). Sadly the visit didn't provide any help really. There was nothing that can be done after the report had been filed due to the fact we didn't have any proof. Wonderful!

The drama didn't stop there! Later in the evening when N came home with both Boys she went and knocked on Psychotic Woman's door, let's just say we had a tip off from someone else in the building. N told her what had happened and a rough estimate on the damages, she said she wouldn't press charges if the money reaches her and that she would appreciate any information that anyone might have on the situation. She handed her her card to which Psychotic Woman threw it on the ground and slammed the door shut. N picked it up and knocked on the door again this time Psychotic Woman used a fair amount of profanities and eventually slammed the door. They came back in and told me what had happened and I thought of all the films I had seen that involved psychos killing families whilst they were sleeping.

A couple of minutes later the doorbell rang, I was too scared of opening the door incase Psychotic Woman was there ready to throw a bucket of acid onto my face. Eventually N opened the door, and there stood two police officers telling her she didn't have the right to barge into someone's house accusing them of vandalism. I agree, but that was clearly not the case! What gets on my nerves is that someone could have blinded Little Boy and the police couldn't do anything, but just by knocking on someone's door sent not one, but two police officers, within minutes!

Right now, I don't know how we will proceed but our doors are definitely staying locked at all times and I have various escape routes planned! As my jeans were ruined I went shopping for a new pair. It was about time anyway! I tried on a billion pairs of jeans and just couldn't find a pair that was so fantastically well made and within my budget, I ended up trying on a pair of grey corduroy pants from Gap, just for the fun of it. I've always hated corduroy! When I was going through the potty training stage, my mom bought me like six pairs of identical red corduroy pants. In fact I distinctly remember putting the soiled pants in the washing machine only to return to my room and seeing my mom hold up another pair of red corduroy pants. I tried my best to pee my pants six times a day just so all the red corduroy pants would be in the wash at the same time and I could wear something else! Oh mom, if only you had known... I don't know why I hated them so much, but my mom forced me to wear them as they hold liquid pretty well, she believed that it allows the kid to feel their pants are wet and thus teach them about potty training. Why corduroy pants though? That has always been the question for me, I mean surely, apart from waterproof material, doesn't all fabric allow the kid to feel wet? Mind boggling really. Anyway... The pants looked awesome and with a 40% discount, how could I say no?

Spencer

2010-11-04T01:43:00.000-04:00

What's this? Elfie is still posting photos? To be honest, I thought if I just stopped mentioning how I haven't taken a decent photo in so long people will forget that I've ever tried this a photo a day thing. But, to share what I learnt in class the other day, we are genetically driven to closure, thus I will finish this goddamn photo project even if it kills me!

Life has been busy, I survived my first ever "mid-terms", although they weren't actually exams, I love saying "mid-terms", it sounds way classier than mid-semester. It's a scary thought, I have completed 1/8 of my time at NYU, assuming that everything goes to plan. The results from my papers were average to oh-my-freaking-God I'm intelligent! The one I thought I had done rubbish on actually turned out pretty well, and the one I thought I had done pretty well actually turned out pretty well at first. And then I found out the whole US grading system is oh so different to that of NZ, where professors draw five little sheep if you did super (kidding)! What's also new to me is how competitive everyone is. I'm Asian, I have Asian friends, I grew up with super competitive people and I've always been the person that would secretly wish that others did poorly so I don't have to make an effort to do well ha! Now that I'm in grad school I am starting to get the idea that wishing bad things for other doesn't necessary mean good things will come to me, which is a bit of a bummer, but I still do it!

Other than school stuff which I am still overly excited to share with you all, I saw Angus and Julia Stone live!!!!! They were awesome!!!!!

And then there was Halloween. I had been anticipating this holiday since the end of September when The Boys got their costumes. I mean, the rumor was, that the Americans go full out on Halloween, and boy did they not disappoint! The costumes, the parade, the CANDIES!!!!! So glad I made my dental appointment in advance!

Anyway... It's late, I'm tired and in a couple of hours I am going to hear from someone who will give me some news that'd make me do something foolishly crazy... Or not.

#348

2010-11-04T01:05:00.003-04:00

Rubber duckies

Summersick

2010-10-21T21:47:00.000-04:00

A year ago today, I was in bed thinking about death. No, it wasn't as dramatic, I just thought about whether it was possible that I'd die from the chickenpox. Thankfully I survived it and have the scars to prove it. This past week has been tough with assignments due, in every single class. It really made me miss my life back in France, almost to the point where I thought, "I wouldn't mind teaching again" ha! Who was I trying to fool, as much as I loved getting paid for my 12 hour work week, with a two week break every six weeks, there was no way I'd trade being able to use words like "hence", "thus" and "therefore" (Ah! Year nine science!) for "three is blue, color the goddamn three blue I said!". I think I have summersick, it's like being homesick, but instead I'm missing all the amazing memories of this past summer, which was also the first summer I've had in four years. How wonderful would it be to sit outside and have a Martini blanc, to swim in the Adriatic sea, or to take a boat ride to St Tropez.

New York is getting cooler, weather wise. It's nice. I like pushing Little Boy to school early in the morning when it's still kind of chilly, and then coming back to the warm apartment for my morning nap.

The Boys have continued to be my source of entertainment when I can't afford to go out, with quotes like, "Hey Elfie! Take a photo of me and Little Boy with our [naked] butts together", which I did and from Little Boy, "I want to wear this [bra] to school". Whilst it's been fun having little kids in my life, I am just so grateful that I am not incubating any fetuses.

After months of preparation, I finally worked up enough courage to call and make an appointment to see a dentist, or a graduating dental student rather, and have my teeth checked. It has been about five years since I last went to the dentist. And, about three months since I've been using that temporary filling thing. The appointment is scheduled for November 9th, and it's nerve wrecking. I'm not so much worried about the procedure, rather that I'm going to be assigned to a good looking dentist who's going to take one look into my mouth and run out of the room. Also, I have been known to have uncontrollable fits of giggles at the dentist, and also at the hairdresser when I am having my hair rinsed, or any other public place where I have to lie down, it's weird. Anyway, fingers crossed I will get a kind, ugly, fat, woman to look at my teeth!

Aware

2010-10-01T21:47:00.000-04:00

Good grief it's October! I am still fairly enthusiastic about school, although it's getting intense, not just the readings or assignments, but the actual content of the classes. We are constantly asked to be self aware, to monitor our emotions, our thoughts and it is physically demanding. I have taken being analytical to a whole new level. But I am loving it! Next week I am heading into a few schools to interview some school counselors and see what it's really about. I'm excited and nervous, we've never had school counselors at a primary school level in New Zealand, and I have no idea where our high school counselor's office was even located, so it'd be cool to see what a school counselor actually does.

Life with Big Boy and Little Boy has been fun these couple of days. They seem to have split personalities where one day they can just drive you up the wall and the next they are sweet little bunnies. This past week has been a good one though, and I have my fingers crossed it will continue! Little Boy turned three, and he even invited me to his birthday party, sadly I had my ethics class and had to miss out on some cupcakes. Although he's three now, I am still asking him to make owl noises on a daily basis, it's funny! He also likes to put his face really close to mine and whisper "Spencer" to my back when I am sitting down. Both boys share food with me which is so sweet, but of course they've either already taken a bite, slobbered all over it, or it's food that they've been playing with their germy hands and have most likely been on the ground. I still love them though!

I've done a bit more sight seeing last week, whilst Frédéric was over from France. On Wednesday night we went to Nurse Bettie's which is a cool burlesque bar. It was hot! Go-go girls dancing by the window (right in front of me), strip tease and three creepy 40 something business men, just the way I like to spend my Wednesday nights! Following day we went on the Staten Island ferry and we ate sandwiches that Frédéric made, at Battery Park. Friday we headed to Coney Island and dipped our toes in the ocean, Frédéric did go for a swim in his boxers, ah les français! Then we played hangman on the sand. The beach wasn't fantastic but it was pretty damn good! I guess being a school day it wasn't crowded at all, there was however a lot of broken glass in the sand, I was a bit paranoid walking barefoot in the sand. In the afternoon we went to MoMA and then it was back to their apartment for some wine, beer (yes I do drink beer occasionally), cheese and general French madness. It's been fun hanging out with them, I felt like I was in France, but it did get me thinking about what people do in foreign cities. This could be just me, but I feel every time I am in a foreign place I feel like I am immune to everything. In other words, I am a lot braver in a foreign place than I am at home, home as in Christchurch.

Weather is getting cooler, I am loving the foggy, grey New York. Even with the rain in New York is cooler than other places, ha! What I don't love is pushing the damn stroller on the uneven New York footpath whilst holding on to my Monoprix umbrella that's constantly turning inside out due to the strong winds and offers no protection to the lashing rain. Thankfully gumboots are totally in, in New York, so I might go full out and buy myself some rain boots, as they are called in the US, and a raincoat even, so I can splash in puddles, in style. Right now I am in love with a pair from Burberry, but fear not mommy I will not fork out $300 for a pair of rain boots, thank goodness we have Target!

I ♥ School

2010-09-15T00:01:00.006-04:00

My goodness how quickly the days fly by once school starts! Not to sound like a complete nerd but I love school! OK... So apart from those awkward five years of high school, I have pretty much liked school all my life. But being at NYU just feels really different, I guess I have just been really anticipating this for the past few months and now that I am finally here every cell in my body is going RAHHH!!! Classes have gone well, I have surprised myself at how attentive I am in class, I think every cell in my body is also aware of the price tag that comes with NYU so they are all doing their best to make sure I concentrate in class.

The classes are really different to classes in New Zealand. It's not really a fair comparison, because this is graduate school, and school counseling and not undergrad and psychology. And of course, New York not Christchurch. For example, as I was waiting to go into my ethics class today, I stood in the corridor and it felt like the entire population of Christchurch came out of the three classes at the end of the corridor. And this was only in one corridor, on one floor and in one building. However classes are smaller, my biggest class is the ethics class where there are 38 students in a room with 40 seats. The ethics class is interesting, so far it's just been discussions but it really scares the crap out of me thinking of all the things a school counselor can be sued for. The counseling lab practice class is the smallest class, we are in a group of nine. The first day we were videotaped, in twos we played the part of the counselor and the client, and I got through the class without throwing up, so I think I am good. Although we will be watching the videotapes tomorrow so we'll see how it goes then!

Group dynamics is a class I am still trying to figure out. So far I've reached the conclusion that we are learning about groups, but the dynamics of the class is definitely interesting! It's taught by a well known drama therapist, and I think for this reason there are more art therapy, drama therapy students in my class than in the other group dynamics classes.

And lastly there's my theory class which is just a theory class where about 20 of us are squished into this tiny, windowless room.

It's hard to say whether I will remain as enthusiastic as I am now, about school, in a few weeks time, my guess is no. We'll see what happens once I am behind in readings and assignments start burying me, but I have a feeling I'm still going to prefer grad school over shouting out three is blue to little frogs on the other side of the ocean.

Yesterday I made my final ATM withdrawal with my BNP card, tonight I cut it up into eight little triangles, and tomorrow I am sending it back to France. It feels like closure to my life in France and it does make me a little sad. I am crossing my ten fingers and my ten toes that BNP will let me close my bank account just like that HA!

I ♥ NY

2010-09-06T19:21:00.000-04:00

My body is going through an adjustment period with Zoloft, it's been a rough couple of days where I either can't sleep or am super tired. Not to mention the nausea and the African drumming. But today, it has definitely gotten better. I walked across the FDR and along the East River, then sat on a bench for a good two hours. The weather was perfect, warm and breezy. I sat and watched the ridiculous amount of fat people exercising, and I thought about the past year. It's almost been a year since I've left New Zealand!

Despite having been here for almost two months, I often catch myself thinking this isn't real. It really is incredible how I went from the chicken pox to NYU. Now, I know there is still so much more of New York left for me to discover, but today I truly feel it's time for me to say I love New York!

Tomorrow is the first day of school and I am excited!!!!!

#347

2010-08-29T18:28:00.004-04:00

My leather school bag. The last of my extravagant purchases, for summer at least.

Jacob Is To Edward, As Mice Is To...

2010-08-25T00:50:00.002-04:00

A) Cheese

B) Peanut butter

C) Bay leaves

The answer is of course C, bay leaves. And yes, I just compared Jacob to rodents. I have bay leafed and Lysol-ed my room to the max. In every crevice and every corner lies a bay leaf, why? Because apparently rodents hate them, and cockroaches too, and will do its best to avoid them. Thus, in my logical mind, if I use the bay leaf as a sort of border, it might, should prevent mice and cockroaches from entering my room. Of course there is the possibility that there are mice and cockroaches in my room already which would mean it might be unable to get out, and would therefore send me into another nervous breakdown, but my room is small and I've done a thorough check before I laid down the bay leaf boundaries, so I think I'm safe.

Today after French class I went to the student health center for a walk-in session with a counselor, this turned into a two hour session with a psychiatrist. No really, I'm fine. I did meet a nice girl in the waiting room, she seemed nice enough, she complimented on my Little Green Man, Berlin bag and we talked a little bit about what she was doing in Berlin, but she was whisked away before we had the chance to do proper introductions. When she left, I thought about this scene from The O.C. (yeah... first Twilight, then The O.C., let's see if we can make it to Gossip Girl in paragraph three!) where Marissa first met Oliver in the waiting room of some therapist. It made me smile and think of my dear friend Aisha, whom, despite the fact I love her to pieces, I feel the need to growl at her when she mocks Mischa Barton's "Oliver...". I adore Mischa Barton, I wish we were BFFs, she also has the most beautiful voice in the world, an accent that makes me go gaga. It's just the perfect ratio of British and American, it's something I am actively working on, by watching Mischa Barton clips on Youtube and imitating her.

I've been watching a lot of French films lately, I am currently watching Regular Lovers a film by Philippe Garrel, the future granddaddy of my kids. It even stars his son Louis, the future father of my kids. I picked this film out because I love looking at Louis Garrel, his face is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. But take him away and this film is almost torture. It saddens me to think I am losing my ability to concentrate on films. This film, is without a doubt beautiful, it's in black and white and has some fantastic music. The story itself is about "France's near revolution of May '68" which does interest me, as earlier on I was talking to another dear friend Chris, who has guided me through the past week whilst I dealt with my rodent issues, he mentioned the werewolf beast and how the events may have contributed to the French Revolution. And yes, I understand this is a whole different period, but it's interesting to see that during any major historical event there are people still living life, doing everyday things. Tonight is not the night to be watching this film, but I refuse to turn it off as I have a sneaky suspicion Louis might be naked any second now. I will most definitely get this film out again and really watch it, so when the day comes when I am five months pregnant and having lunch with Louis and Philippe, I can tell them how wonderful the film was and how much meaning it added to my life. This is, by no means a film review, rather it's an observation of what New York City has done to me. Television is to ADHD child as New York City is to Elfie.

Of Mice And Elfie

2010-08-21T21:19:00.000-04:00

There has been no sightings of mice since Wednesday night but my whole body still contracts a little at the slightest noise. The worst was definitely Wednesday, when the mouse was actually in my small bedroom. I'll be honest, it brought to the very edge of a full emotional meltdown. Whilst the mouse was running around in my closet I closed my eyes and thought about how much I missed New Zealand and France, sure New Zealand is a bore and France has a lot of French people, jokes! But at least there I haven't felt the need to cry over rodents in my room. Eventually after some deep breathing, I opened my closet doors and one by one removed my shoes, whilst doing so I mentally blocked all my OCD thoughts about germs and concentrated on cornering the mouse with two sticky traps. Once that was done I sprinkled some more bay leaves, closed the door and did more breathing exercises. A couple of minutes later I heard the sound of little mouse feet on the hardwood floors, followed by the gleeeck sound of the mouse stumbling onto the trap, which was later followed by little painful, confused mouse squeaks. For a quarter of a second it did pull at my heartstrings, as I thought back to when little Elfie got her head stuck in between the railings at grandma's house one summer, and the intense fear I felt. But this was quickly replaced by the DIE RODENT DIE mentality which was also quickly replaced by further anxiety as I thought about how I would now dispose of the mouse, and whether I was able to sleep in the same room as a mouse who's caught on a sticky trap. Whilst pacing outside my room, my Couchsurfer rang. My Couchsurfer, my hero. Whilst I said he didn't have to take the mouse outside if he didn't want to, I gave him the if-you-don't-do-it-I'm-going-to-cry look. And of course he took the mouse out, stomped the bejesus out of it and threw it in the bins.

Apart from the mice debacle, I am settling into New York well. Have done a few more touristy things, such as the Brooklyn Bridge by night, which was absolutely stunning! Too bad I didn't bring my camera, but I will most likely go again!

To celebrate my first month in New York I decided to go get my nails done, a proper mani/pedi for $20, done by a Chinese woman, who has been in New York for a decade but barely speaks English. She was nice enough, and her hands felt like my mommy's! It felt like a symbolic ritual, sending out a Facebook status update via my iPhone, whilst Cindy grated off my callouses. Now I just need some girlfriends, so we can talk about how great Cindy is, or how great the Siberian Night suits my pale hands and maybe even make mani/pedi dates!

Friends

2010-08-16T02:40:00.001-04:00

I love this show, I grew up watching Friends and even now I always watch the repeats. But now that I'm in New York, watching Friends is a whole new experience. Whilst I am aware that the show is filmed, I think, entirely in a studio in LA but it's based in New York. Anyway... I am watching Friends at almost one in the morning because I am scared to go to sleep. No I am not scared of some Latinos breaking in whilst I am all alone in the apartment, which is what my dad is worrying about. I am scared of the mouse in the apartment. I started watching a film this afternoon, when out of the corner of my I see this small, round, furry thing run out from under the TV cabinet. I never thought of myself as one who would be scared of mice, rats, rodents. But I have to say my heart probably stopped beating for a good seven seconds. I. Freaked. Out. I went around the house and flicked on every single light. I quickly sent N a text and asked for instructions on how I should proceed. I stopped by at security and demand to be added on the extermination list, and then I went to the store across the street and bought some sticky mouse traps. This is what I love about New York, that at 8PM on a Sunday, one can still go outside and buy mouse traps!

I've set the traps now, and in fact whilst writing this blog entry the mouse, who does seem kind of cute, just ran across the floor and gave me another minor heart attack. I quickly grabbed Ophelia and left the TV room, closing the door behind me. I am hoping this stops the mouse from coming into my room downstairs, climbing up my bed and gnawing my face. There are traps in the TV room, but, as much as I'd like to catch the mouse, I am also stressing out about what to do once it's caught. The sticky traps just smell like peanut butter but doesn't actually contain any poison, meaning once the mouse is stuck on it, it won't die. It will most likely just be writhing about, and then I'd have to find some way of disposing it. It's late, I'm going to try and focus on the "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it" mentality and try to get some sleep.

Ready, Steady, Go!

2010-08-14T14:02:00.000-04:00

For the first time since I moved out of my apartment in Angers, I am alone, alone, in a positive sense. The Boys and N are in Minnesota for a wee holiday before school starts and I get the whole house to myself. While there are no wild house parties, I am thoroughly enjoying this newfound tranquility.

Yesterday I checked my NYU page to see that a few of classes are now open on Blackboard. I had a quick glance through the course information, requirements and so forth, and I have to say I am super excited about starting classes. I think this is what a year of shouting out numbers and colors to small French people can do to you. It makes you want to learn!

The past two days I have basically been sitting in front of Ophelia with my panda card sitting in my hot little hands, although by now I have memorized all 23 digits needed to complete a purchase, so I could in theory put my panda card back in my wallet. I am not spending recklessly, I believe it's a coping mechanism. Lately I've been thinking a lot about my permanent residence, especially when filling out forms. Angers has always been a temporary home for me, I knew it right from the start, that there was no way I was going to live there for the rest of my life. But now that I am in New York, and I will most likely be here for a minimum of two years, it's a little bit different. Whilst I still write my New Zealand address as my permanent address, I am 97% certain I will not move back to New Zealand. Please do not use this blog entry against me, should I become poor and decide to move back home with my parents. Yet I don't quite feel like I live in New York, possibly due to the fact I only arrived here three weeks ago. But I believe, it helps speed up this process of feeling settled in by buying more stuff. Nothing makes you feel more at home than being on a first name basis with your UPS man.

#346

2010-08-08T23:15:00.003-04:00

I took far too many similar photos from the Top of the Rock, but I can't help posting a black and white one.

#345

2010-08-08T23:07:00.002-04:00

#344

2010-08-08T23:02:00.004-04:00

#343

2010-08-08T23:00:00.002-04:00

#342

2010-08-08T22:58:00.003-04:00

#341

2010-08-08T22:57:00.002-04:00

A Mole For Christmas

2010-08-07T13:22:00.000-04:00

Thursday night, I flew solo, I looked after The Boys on my own for six hours, from pick ups to the somewhat excruciating bedtime. It went OK, excluding the two tantrums and the fact it took them two hours to fall asleep, it was fine. Here's a funny conversation I had with Little Boy last night, whilst we were reading the book The Human Body.

LB: I wanna see your belly!
Elfie: You wanna see my belly?
LB: Yeah
Elfie: OK... *lifts up shirt* (Come on, he's not even three!)
LB: What's that? *points to my mole by my bellybutton*
Elfie: That's my mole, like the one on my arm. *shows LB the mole on my arm*
LB: *lifts up his shirt and looks for a mole on his belly and on his arm* I don't have a mole (In a weepy voice, with those puppy dog eyes.)
Elfie: Well... Not everyone has a mole.
LB: How did you get a mole?
Elfie: I was born with it, but sometimes they can just grow out of nowhere.
LB: *starts to cry* I want a mole!!!!!

Although these two may drive me insane at times, I do love these little conversations. Kids just do and say such funny things, especially Little Boy. I love it when he makes owl noises!

Friendly New Yorkers

2010-08-01T09:02:00.000-04:00

Who ever said New Yorkers are unfriendly have clearly never been to France. I love walking in and out of the apartment complex, I love that the security woman calls me baby girl, and everyone says hi and wishes me a good day.

Another fine example of friendly New Yorkers would be last Wednesday, as I was walking Big Boy to tennis, some guy in a Switch Electric van yelled out to me from across the street. I didn't quite catch what he was saying at first so I said pardon, and he replied, saying he just wanted to say hi to me and wished me a good day.

Yes, you read correctly, I took Big Boy to tennis. And I even cut up an orange to bring with me so he could have a snack. See, I may not be big into sports but I am observant, and I have noticed, from watching TV, I might add, that kids tend to eat oranges during half time, or water breaks. Sadly Big Boy was not a fan of oranges, so I ate them all. Whilst at the tennis lesson, I met a New York mommy who bused all the way from the financial district so her little boy could have free tennis lessons. She told me she wished she had known about this free tennis program earlier, because "tennis lessons are so expensive"! Now, she was a young looking mom, slender, wearing shorts that are shorter than mine, she was fit. So I asked her whether she played tennis herself, she apparently did but not since college. She then turned the question on to me, and I panicked, tennis? Are you kidding me? I played it once in primary school, and yeah I'm not a huge fan of tennis I said. Then she proceeded to ask me whether I played any other sports, and I said, I like watching gymnastics. After a long awkward silence, where I was thinking of all the cool things about me, but having difficulty thinking of a way to say them, she eventually turned away and talked to another New York mommy who plays tennis.

Speaking of being observant here are a list of things I have observed about New Yorkers, most of which N had told me about, but still it's nice to see it myself.

#1: New Yorkers have amazing nails. Both hands and feet. N tells me New Yorkers are obsessed with their nails and it's true, I see it on the metros, on the street, everywhere. I get embarrassed when I look down at my feet and see how gross my feet are from wearing sandals all of last month, the sun and the beach have been harsh on my feet. I have callouses that are ten inch thick! Yes, I am using inches now, although I have no concept of it, it's a learning process!

#2: New Yorkers all have iPhones or BlackBerries. I am getting an iPhone too so I can fit better. I actually had to Google "BBM" as I had no idea what it meant, but now I know it stands for BlackBerry Messenger, and I also know if your BBM message isn't going through, it is comparable to the end of the world.

#3: New Yorkers are obsessed with exercise, sports or going to the gym, see above. Exercise, or shall I say the lack of exercise, is one thing I feel strongly about. I refuse to join a gym.

#4: New York is a very cool city, and that automatically makes the people living in New York cool (and superior). So far I've met writers, editors, actors, photographers and producers. And they go on as if it is so normal to be in those fields, and I guess for them it is because New York is the place to do those things.

Snip Snip

2010-07-26T14:01:00.001-04:00

Yes, I finally got a haircut with my people, and by my people I mean Asians. I grew up having my hair cut by Asians, now I'm sure there are some magnificent haircutters of other ethnicities who knows how to cut Asian hair, but I've just never felt the need to try someone else. Mainly because non-Asians tend to charge an arm and a leg for a wee snip, and I am quite happy just going into someone's garage for a haircut!

After some extensive Googling, I settled on the Cutting Edge Salon on Hester St. The receptionist wasn't exactly friendly but I've been told that's the New York standard. Mable was my stylist, she's from HK but she's lived in NY for ages, and funnily enough she used to live in Paris. So out of the blue our conversation switched into French. This was fine, as for the past nine months I have been telling people my name, where I'm from, what I'm doing in France, where I live and where I work, and that I take the train every day and it is dur! I am great at making self introductions in French! However, one of the many reasons that I have not had the courage to get my hair cut in France is because I can barely express my wants when it comes to my hair in English let alone in French. So when she started tousling my hair and speaking in French I went blank. There were a lot "euh... oui?", finger pointing and "comme ça" but I think we had a mutual understanding. Or actually I just gave her a minimum length and let her do her thing. Which is what I usually do anyway! I am happy with my haircut, she did a good job on my fringe, which was all that mattered.

This morning as we were walking The Boys to school, N told me some interesting facts about the neighborhood. For example a lot of films, TV shows are shot around the area. Flight of the Conchords for one, Law & Order, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. How neat is that?